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Feb. 16th, 2008|12:50 pm |
If I grind too far, it breaks; but if I don't grind enough, I cannot write. There's something really Buddhist about this damn pencil sharpener.
Travis Ruetenik
The Top Pet Peeves of Cupid
- Always being mistaken for a drunken Danny DeVito.
- Those voice mail messages from Venus: "So, you don't have enough love to call your mother?"
- Ann Coulter's ass? Hard as granite.
- Get too close to George Clooney and he yells, "Beat it, bird boy!"
- No worker's comp for arrow-in-foot injuries.
- Fast-food diets forced a switch to 1.25-inch broadhead arrows to bring down those 300-pound Midwesterners.
- NAMBLA creeps who ask for wingjobs.
- Having to put up with that "only shoot it if you're going to eat it" crap from Ted Nugent.
- Frivolous lawsuits filed by People for the Ethical Treatment of Backsides.
- Constantly being hit on by Michael Jackson.
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