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Feb. 1st, 2008|11:10 am |
The Top Signs a Mugger Is Suffering a Mid-Life Crisis
- Instead of robbing you at gunpoint, he has you transfer your money directly to his plastic surgeon's account.
- He starts to seriously question his youthful decision to abandon that Public Administration career.
- Flashes his Ford Mustang key chain while he's pointing his gun at you.
- While mugging you, he brags about his new invention -- the combination gun holster/truss.
- The truth behind his incongruously jet-black beard is betrayed by the bottle of "Just For Thugs" sticking out of his trenchcoat pocket.
- Just doesn't get the same old kick out of armed robbery, as evidenced by that drooping pistol.
- One hand on the gun, one hand on his head to keep the wind from messing up his comb-over.
- Traded in his handy 40-year-old Smith & Wesson for a brand new Glock.
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