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Jan. 21st, 2008|08:26 am |
When it comes down to it, it's the little
thongs in life that makes it all worthwhile.
Jerry L. Embry
A teacher in Italy was suspended because she moonlighted as a porn star. Anna Ciriani, who calls herself "Madameweb" in hard-core Internet videos and at erotic shows, was deemed "not compatible with educational activity."
The Top Signs Your Teacher Is a Porn Star
- She starts class every single day by whipping off her glasses, shaking her hair out of a bun, and bursting the top button on her blouse.
- Naughty, disruptive students have to stay after and clap chalkboard erasers -- on her bare ass.
- She refers to your final exam as "the money shot."
- Kids no longer have to make textbook covers out of brown paper bags. The publisher does it for them.
- Your dad suddenly starts attending parent-teacher conferences.
- During story time, the bunny always dies.
- Her assistant, Miss Phluffer, is always handing her a fresh pointer.
- Assigned reading list includes "A Sale of Two Titties" and "A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream."
- Her social studies lesson on Triangular Trade involves real rum and molasses, and has been downloaded over 6 million times on YouTube.
- *No one* falls asleep during her audio-visual presentations.
- "Walk up to the board and solve for y. Nobody? How about 2+2. No? Can ANYBODY walk up to the board?"
- "Today's economics lesson will focus on principle of Opportunity Cost as applied to the charges incurred by pool cleaners, gardeners and pizza delivery boys."
- He smirks derisively at the output of the volcano you made for your science project.
- The good news: She shows up wearing nothing but a see-through teddy and carrying a Kama Sutra book. The bad news: You're home-schooled.
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