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Jan. 14th, 2008|11:12 am |
The Top Predicted Scandals of 2008
- Teenager Jamie Lynn Spears becomes a grandmother when her daughter is born pregnant.
- The Bush administration somehow destroys all record of the past seven years.
- Global warning finally hits home when Joan Rivers' face melts on the red carpet at the Emmy awards.
- Dozens of Olympians hospitalized after kissing lead-coated medals.
- President Bush pulls the U.S. Olympic team from Beijing, demanding, "Mr. Chinese fella, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!"
- J.K. Rowlings reveals that her next book will be about gay wizard Dumbledorf's younger, pre-wizard days as a prominent and openly homophobic, conservative U.S. Senator with a predilection for cruising busy airport men's rooms for anonymous sex.
- Ignored by the media for several weeks, Paris Hilton explodes.
- Bill Clinton fails in his primary campaign when he nails Mrs. Kucinich and Mrs. Thompson, but only gets to third base with Mrs. Obama.
- The impact of the television writers' strike becomes very real when ABC announces its new reality show, "I've Got Your Nose."
- Angelina Jolie saves two more children from third-world conditions by adopting Britney Spears' kids.
- Hillary Clinton fails a steroid test -- and forgetfully pees into the cup standing up.
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