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Dec. 27th, 2007|10:28 am |
I thought that I was receiving messages from people in the future, but it turns out the company's voicemail system clock was running fast.
Bill Hewins
The Top Things You Don't Want to Find in Your Medical Records
- "Allergic to (unintelligible)."
- Diagnosis: Whatshisname's disease.
- You're apparently allergic to money and beautiful women.
- "Copies forwarded: World Health Organization, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, State Public Health Department...."
- "He's a hypochondriac -- just give him a placebo."
- "Enjoys prostate exams."
- "Mr. Chirac, nice to see you. Well look what it says in your records, you have a spine!"
- Castrate ASAP.
- Charts in your doctor's handwriting comparing your income to the prices of new BMWs.
- Printout of a Web page advertising your organs for sale.
- Sex of any kind will now kill you.
- You have six months to live and the record was dated six months, one day ago.
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