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Dec. 20th, 2007|10:15 am |
The Top Military Holiday Songs
(to "Let It Snow!")
Oh the weather outside was frightful,
But the fly-boys were delightful.
Made bombing runs way down low.
Let 'em go, let 'em go, let 'em go!
(to "Jingle Bell Rock")
Mortar shell, mortar shell, mortar shell shock.
(to "O Christmas Tree")
Oh cluster bomb, oh cluster bomb,
How many fragments have you?
You break apart while in the air,
And scatter bomblets everywhere.
(to "I'll Be Home for Christmas")
I'll be home for Christmas
'Cause I just got shot.
Please give blood;
I'm gonna need
All the "O" you got.
(to "The Caissons Go Rolling Along")
Over hill, over lawn,
Claus delivers 'til it's dawn,
As the reindeer go flying around.
Parents duck, children shout;
They're real sorry if they're out,
'Cause those reindeer drop poop on the ground.
(to "The Marines' Hymn")
From the halls of Montezuma
To the shores of Tripoli,
We will sing our Christmas carols
Out of tune and quite off-key.
(to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town")
You better stand watch.
You better say "Aye!"
And never scratch crotch;
I'm telling you why:
Arleigh Burke is coming aboard.
(to "O Little Town of Bethlehem")
O hunter/killer submarine,
How still we see thee lie.
You stalk your prey with towed array.
Detection you defy.
You have no glowing missiles
With which to launch attack.
Your presence serves to keep those MIRVs
From ever fi-ring back.
The Top New Year’s Resolutions of First Year Residents
- To switch careers to something with less stress, like air raffic control or bomb defusing.
- My prescriptions will be written in a dignified manner, prinkled tastefully with Latin, and with no emoticons. ;)
- I will start that research project to determine whether caffeine* can be classified as a blood type.
- I will have a social life and go on at least one date. (Mental note: Look up what gender I am, and choose appropriately.)
- I will stop emptying the bed pans in Dr. Johnson's locker, even though he's a complete ass.
- This year I'll take it a little easier on the med students. No more than a couple of "serum porcelain assay" requests per morning rounds.
- When in doubt, I will remember to ask myself "WWHD?" (What Would House Do?)
- Last year's plan to wear scrubs all day and night works pretty well. This year I'll try to schedule in some showers and changes also.
- I will review and actually sign all of my verbal orders, even if it's just to find out who keeps taking down my orders in lolcat.
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