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Dec. 19th, 2007|07:58 am |
The Top Things Hanging on Celebrities' Christmas Trees
- Michael Jackson: his noses, circa 1982-2006
- CIA Director Michael Hayden: Gitmo detainees, until they talk!
- Amy Winehouse: spare eyeliner pencils
- Barry Bonds: a fallen star that used to be at the very top
- Kiefer Sutherland: shredded-bedsheet tinsel
- Heather Mills McCartney: little gold shovels
- Led Zeppelin: a bumper crop of freshly thrown brassieres
- Tina Turner: copies of Ike's death certificate -- and his testicles
- Tom Cruise: tinfoil hats
- Michael Vick: cute little floppy-eared beagle puppies
- Yosemite Sam: orneryments
- Angelina Jolie: her collection of small children from around the world
- Stephen King: grislytoe
- Don Imus: Ho-Hos
- Lindsay Lohan: inattentive pedestrians
- Kid Rock: little bottles of shampoo, all unopened
- Britney Spears: "Oh, crap! Is Christmas *this* month?"
- Ron Jeremy: let's just say that ain't tinsel
- George W. Bush: Easter eggs
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