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Dec. 18th, 2007|07:45 am |
You work 25 years at a job, every day putting in your blood, sweat, and tears till eventually you become a master of your trade. Then some snot-nosed punk gets hired and within three weeks he thinks *he's* the deep-fryer king!
Jerry L. Embry
Somehow, I was always able to resist the lure of turning to the dark side of cheese -- until I found myself face-to-face with Darth Cheddar.
BadMacaw
My boss is like a fine wine: All I want to do is drive a corkscrew into him, but my co-workers keep saying, "Not yet, let's wait for a special occasion."
Brad Osberg
President Bush recently announced a measures to reduce air traffic congestion and long delays that leave passengers stranded and turn holiday travel into "a season of dread."
The Top President Bush Ideas to Speed Up Holiday Travel
- New remove-your-shoes-then-drop-your-pants-and-bend-over security screening method should thin the travel crowd a tad.
- Duty-free stores authorized to offer dime bags of cocaine for higher, faster travel.
- Raise the speed limit for planes.
- A visit to the grocery store and back now counts as a successful holiday trip.
- Tax credits for rich stay-at-homes.
- Airline passengers required to lift their feet during takeoff in order to reduce drag.
- "Schedule each flight two hours early so everyone will�get to their destination two hours early! See how easy�that is? That's why I'm president."
- Don't sweat the details. Just call your program "No Passenger Left Behind" -- who could be against that?
- Parachutes. Lots and lots of parachutes.
- "I ask all Americans to celebrate Christmas someplace downhill from them."
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