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Dec. 13th, 2007|08:30 am

khehe
Looking back, I guess we were poor growing up, but we never knew it. We were also stupid and didn't know it, which goes a long way towards explaining the naivety regarding our financial situation.
Anthony Myers

Sure, being ripped apart by lions is a terrifying thing, but nothing compares to that paralyzing fear when you can't find the remote.
Tom Sims

I took up jogging to experience the "runner's high" everyone talks about, but I found it somehow lacks the intensity of sitting on my couch and smoking crack.
Ken Peterson

The Top Signs You're a Blue Stater Living in a Red State

- Neighbors are mad because your Christmas lights spell out "Get out of Iraq!"
- Yes, you get Guns & Ammo, but you're careful to recycle every issue when you're through with it.
- At the local diner, the fry cook leaves the kitchen to see who actually ordered the vegetable plate.
- "Son, 'round these parts 'recycling' means riding your Harley home from work!"
- You're known as the blueneck.
- Everyone in town knows you simply as "Miss Japanese Car."
- Your doctor tells you you're pregnant and when you ask what your alternatives are, he says, "Well, it will either be a girl or a boy."
- You're the only person in the Creation Museum laughing his ass off.
- You have to drive 750 miles to get your Volvo serviced.
- "Would you prefer Smoking or Shut-the Hell-Up-and-Go-Home-to-Eat?"
- The only Brie you can find is an 18-year-old hooker.

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