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Nov. 27th, 2007|01:07 pm |
Engineers have created a tornado 34 meters tall
The Top Uses for a Man-Made Tornado
- Finally, a new type of ride at amusement parks.
- Wile E. Coyote is definitely gonna be ordering a lot of these from Acme.
- Militaries can collect smog from cities and deploy it against enemies at will.
- A quick and easy method for removing leaves, sticks, or trees from your yard.
- Televised tornado fights.
- "Ma'am, have you been looking for a vacuum with more suction than the standard filter vacuum? May I demonstrate it on your carpet there?"
An astrophysicist is using an array of eight Sony PlayStation 3s in place of a supercomputer.
The Top Features of the PlayStation 3 Supercomputer
- Until you've seen it run on this thing, you've never really seen Pong.
- It totally kicks the butt of that stupid X-Box 360 supercomputer!
- Text scrolls side to side rather than up and down.
- Eight Sony PS3's from Target: $4,000. 16 TB of Sony Memory Sticks: $400,000.
- It runs a realtime simulation of Earth -- and that's just the screensaver.
- Its most difficult calculation so far: determining the release date for Halo 4.
- All that "wasted" time gaming as a child means you get to call your mother with the world's greatest "I told you so!"
The Top Signs a Pimp Doesn't Care Anymore
- He's begun absentmindedly slapping his hos with the *front* of his hand.
- Now he just drops all of his women off at the eBay Store to be sold on consignment.
- "Bitch better have my money -- else I'll be forced to write her a strongly-worded memo."
- Grey hat, black suit.
- Claims his tennis elbow prevents his formerly vigorous-but-loving ho-beatings.
- His new business cards read: "Blowjobs $10 or Best Offer."
- Tells his girls to go slowly with the johns because it gives him more time to read stories to their toddlers.
- Trades in his pink 1972 Cadillac for a 2008 Prius.
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