|
Nov. 1st, 2007|09:42 am |
The Top Signs Your Pediatrician Is Running for President
- Your son's five-minute wellness exam is followed by a 15-minute lecture on global warming.
- In order to get their lollipops, your kids have to register as paid lobbyists.
- "60 Minutes" is running an exposé on whether Hillary and Giuliani have had their rubella boosters.
- You ask for a second opinion? Straight to Guantanamo Bay!
- Instead of a "Smile, I got a shot today!" sticker, your kid leaves the office with a campaign button and an absentee voter form.
- She's starting to refer to well-baby checkups as "sound bites."
- Instead of telling you what's wrong with your child, you're given a survey asking you to list the three diseases that are most important to you.
- He keeps referring to his aural thermometer as "Ear Force One."
- Friendly Nurse Yvonne? Out. Glowering Secret Service agent "Vince" wearing pink ducky scrubs? In!
The Top 6 Signs You're Living in a Stephen King Novel
- Hey, doesn't everyone bring a bucket of pig blood to the prom?
- You drove into a town where the welcome sign lists the population as a negative number.
- Ancient evil clowns are chasing teenagers across the room, but you're not at a KISS reunion concert.
- You child is chanting in Latin with a deep resonating bass voice. And four seems a little young to be hitting puberty.
- Based on this bill, either your car is possessed or Satan is moonlighting as your mechanic.
No TopFive.com |
|