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Oct. 13th, 2007|12:36 pm |
The Top Movies Described as a Police Report
- Suspects abused the body of the deceased for several days; witnesses claim to have seen nothing despite direct contact with the corpse.
(Weekend at Bernie's)
- Stolen bicycle reported. Owner pursued the thief on his own without police help; bicycle eventually recovered.
(Pee Wee's Big Adventure)
- Five teenagers vandalized their school during detention last Saturday when left unattended by the principal. As minors, the teens' names were not released; however, they are described as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.
(The Breakfast Club)
- A wanted family of nine is suspected of fleeing the area and crossing the border into Switzerland. The family is described as a father in uniform, a mother or possibly a nun, and seven children dressed in clothes resembling old curtains. Suspects known to break into song at any moment.
(The Sound of Music)
- An individual came to the station to report he and two others lost a fourth individual to drowning during a boating trip. Authorities should be on the look out for hill dwellers, according to the pretty-mouthed individual.
(Deliverance)
- Marine Animal Control Unit requests a larger vessel after their initial attempts to subdue a local pest off the shores of Amity Island were unsuccessful.
(Jaws)
- Be on the lookout for a man driving a yellow Cadillac who is wanted in the kidnapping of his autistic brother. The car was last spotted travelling toward Las Vegas with stops at local area K-Marts to buy underwear.
(Rain Man)
- A teenage girl killed an elderly woman in Kansas, then apparently teamed up with three strangers to kill another. Suspect claims she was "over the rainbow" at the time.
(Wizard of Oz)
- An underage youth, driving a sports car powered by plutonium obtained illegally from Libyans, was seen speeding in the parking lot of the Twin Pines mall. He was later nearly caught doing 88 in a 35.
(Back to the Future)
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