|
Sep. 25th, 2007|11:15 am |
Sometimes there's a fine line between participating in an extreme sport and just playing a conventional sport very, very badly.
Andy Ihnatko
When the Denny's menu says, "Two Eggs, Any Style," don't believe it -- they're lying. Today I tried to order two eggs "doggy style" and they refused. Tomorrow I'm going to try "execution style."
James Rice
The Top Signs Your Lawsuit Against God Will Fail
- All twelve jurors look just like Morgan Freeman.
- And God sayeth unto you, "Don't sue me, bro!"
- Your "star studded" character-witness list includes OJ Simpson, Phil Spector, and the Reverend Ted Haggard.
- God counterclaims for your soul -- and attorney fees.
- You're only seeking as damages a refund for your ticket to "The Number 23."
- The sunlight fades the color on the hood of your BMW in the shape of a middle finger.
- Satan, atheists, and even the ACLU refuse to come to your support.
- Your evidence keeps getting hit by a bolt of lighting in the courtroom when you hold it up during questioning.
- Your key witnesses keep showing up late for testimony due to locust conditions on the local freeway.
The Top Geek Expressions for Everyday Things
- Beaming up to the mothership -- going back home to your mom's house
- Filtering an MP3 file through the airwaves to your aural interface -- listening to the radio
- Limiting access to your proprietary hardware -- refusing to have sex
- Indexing the porn collection -- indexing the porn collection
- Permanently offline -- dead
- P2P over O2 -- talking
- Copy-protecting your pet -- neutering
- Uninstalling a Mountain Dew -- urinating
No TopFive.com |
|