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Jun. 1st, 2007|10:11 am |
The Top Reasons Vampires Don't Like Country Music
- Competition - It bites worse than they do. Sucks more, too.
- Too many songs about stakes through the heart and crying 'til the sun comes up.
- Steel guitars mess with their sonar when in bat-mode.
- Banjos make surprisingly good bat-swatters.
- Ever try to bite the neck of somebody wearing a cowboy hat?
- Hearing some drunk office worker mangle "Achy Breaky Heart" is almost worse than having a stake driven through it.
- "My Blood Turned Beer After You Left Me." You do the math.
- Country music is so "weepy" -- and we all know what a drag it is to drink endorphin-poor blood.
- Thick, Romanian accents never seem to win over the Texas karaoke bar crowds.
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