| |
[Oct. 24th, 2009|11:39 am] |
Скорость разрушения мозга прямо пропорциональна квадрату диагонали телевизора.
- Мне страшно отправлять резюме в компанию, где в графике работы пишут с 9.00 до 17.00, а сама вакансия на должность выложена на сайте в воскресенье в 3 часа ночи...
Поймал мужик Золотую рыбку и просит:
- Сделай так, чтобы на мои вопросы ни один умный не смог ответить!
И сделала его рыбка дураком.
- Радость моя, женушка моя милая, дай мне, пожалуйста, пиджак.
- А где он, мой котеночек?
- Наверное, куколка, в прихожей. Я бросил его там, когда ты, козочка моя, била меня вчера стулом за то, что я поздно вернулся домой.
Мальчик – проходящему работнику прокуратуры в форме с кейсом:
– Дядя, а что у вас в дипломате?
– Дело о коррупции, мальчик.
– А почему оно булькает?
– Потому что еще не раскрыто!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 24th, 2009|11:58 am] |
- All the world's a stage, and we are merely waiting for the clown to get kicked in the balls.
The Top Passages From the Liberal Bible
- Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear not; for everyone is basically good and the Shadow is probably just misunderstood and had a rough childhood.
- Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. And here's a map to Glenn Beck's house.
- And God told Noah to gather a male and a female of each species. And lo, was Noah sued by the ACLU for discriminating against gays.
- Take, eat. This is my body which is organically grown, untainted by pesticides or preservatives, labeled with nutritional information, and surprisingly compatible with a vegan diet.
- And the Lord cursed Adam by giving his name to that large bump in Ann Coulter's neck.
Ever wonder what would be different if the British would have crushed the Colonial Rebellion back in the 18th century? I mean besides the obvious dearth of barbecue-rich summer holidays...
The Top Unforeseen Consequences of the Commonwealth of America
- Lots more spam for bogus upper-lip-stiffener pills.
- Managing the country is basically the same. Leadership alternates between the Duke of Massachusetts and the Duke of Texas but without all that unnecessary election stuff.
- L.A. car chases on the other side of the road.
- Americans would speak English.
- Even less respect for law enforcement, what with those stupid tall conehead hats their police officers wear.
- More turrets. Out with the White House, in with the White Castle.
- Your *right* arm would be more tan than your left one for a change.
- You can't even imagine the accent that someone from Alabama would have.
No TopFive.com |
|
|