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[Oct. 19th, 2007|07:36 am] |
В каждом из нас спит гений и бодрствует идиот.
Гаишник останавливает машину и пpосит водителя пpедъявить пpава.
Водитель, оочень похожий на мужчину, пpотягивает пpава, в котоpых значится Сидоpова Маpия Ивановна.
- По чужим пpавам ездите? - оживляется гаишник.
- Почему по чужим? - удивляется водитель.
- Техпаспоpт! - тpебует несколько сконфуженный гаишник.
Hа свет извлекается техпаспоpт на имя Сидоpовой М. И.
- Та-а-ак... - говоpит охpеневший гаишник, глядя на водителя, - А ну, сымай штаны!
После долгих пpепиpательств водитель снимает штаны и оказывается под ними мужик-мужиком. Гаишник вне себя.
- Ах ты ж падла!!! Ща я тебя за такие шуточки...
- Эх, товаpищ сеpжант, какому-то х&ю вы веpите, а нашим госудаpственным документам - нет!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Oct. 19th, 2007|08:16 am] |
An American tourist in London was desperate to take a leak. After a long search he couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up.
"Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked.
"I'm sorry," the American replied, "but I really gotta take a leak."
"You can't do that here," the officer told him. "Look, follow me."
The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the policeman, "whiz away."
The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started pissing on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief. Then turning toward the officer, he said, "This is very nice of you. Is this British courtesy?"
"No," replied the policeman. "It's the French Embassy." |
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[Oct. 19th, 2007|08:26 am] |
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Uz kaķīšiem patrenējies! :] ( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Oct. 19th, 2007|10:25 am] |
The 10 Signs You're About to Be Involved in a Sex Scandal
- When you wake up, the ASPCA is leading the goat away in front of the entire neighborhood.
- YoungHottie13's not at McDonald's like she promised to be, but you decide to stick around anyway because it looks like "Dateline NBC" is having some sort of event there.
- The only thing the hooker is still wearing is the lapel she's talking into.
- This smokin' hot male prostitute reminds you a lot of that new guy at the D.A.'s office.
- Your 13-year-old student mentions that six of his friends *also* want to have sex with the teacher.
- The things you've done to choir boys make the other priests look like, well, choir boys.
- "Wait a minute, gorgeous -- if YOU got the copy of my campaign speech, then WHO got the autographed picture of my penis?"
- The "glory hole blindfold" concept was very exciting -- until you nearly choked to death on that reporter's microphone.
No TopFive.com |
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[Oct. 19th, 2007|01:28 pm] |
I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.
Jarod Kintz
Strangely enough, if you exchange the blue liquid in your Magic 8-Ball with vodka, it doesn't really affect its mysterious powers of insight and wisdom.
George MacMillan
No TopFive.com |
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