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Dec. 15th, 2005|07:15 pm |
The Top Things You Don't Want to Hear From the Wait Staff
"Sorry, hon, but we're all out of coffee."
Anything regarding the condition or functioning of her reproductive organs or her digestive tract.
"No darlin', the boobs aren't real, but the johnson under this cute little black skirt sure is."
"Look, lemme know if you find a rhinestone stud -- I dropped one of my nose piercings a little bit ago."
"Yes, Dad, this *is* what my liberal arts degree prepared me for."
"Today's lunch special is a BLT with potato salad, a side of home fries is free with three or more sandwich orders, you got me pregnant and the soup of the day is chicken noodle."
"No, I *don't* want to get you more coffee from the kitchen. Everybody back there is sneezing and hacking -- it's safer out here."
"We mixed in a little DDT with the powdered sugar so your waffle should be cockroach-free this time."
"It's really only still moving a little."
"And if you order the house special, it comes with a free immunization shot while supplies last." |
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