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Nov. 2nd, 2006|02:01 pm |
Recent studies find that nicer drill sergeants are more effective. Recruits are said to be better in boot camp now that they're not being yelled at...
The Top Changes in Kinder, Gentler Boot Camps
- Infantry training now called "lead-based diplomacy."
- When assigned latrine-cleaning as a punishment, electric toothbrushes are allowed.
- Boot camp has been restructured: five weeks of Core Curriculum, followed by three weeks of Personal Growth.
- Everyone who finishes boot camp gets their choice of a puppy or a goldfish.
- "Yeah, whatever, dude," is now a perfectly acceptable response to most commands from superior officers.
- Thirty percent less boot, 50% more camp.
- The obstacle course became the confidence course: now it's known as the potentialities enhancement course.
- When the drill sergeant yells at you a half-inch from your face he/she now has minty-fresh breath.
- Trainees can forgo the rifle range for a shooting gallery on their choice of Xbox, Play Station 2, or GameCube.
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