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Apr. 7th, 2011|08:04 pm |
It seems everybody in my town calls me "the stranger." I'll bet they wouldn't say that if they knew me better.
(Wayne Judson Lloyd)
My grandson has learned how to hold and carry the cat. He has also learned how to flush the toilet. I can't help but believe that in the not-too-distant future there will be another lesson in store for him.
(Dave Henry)
Since I started my all fish 'n' chips diet last week, I lost ten pounds; my British friend bet me that I wouldn't lose any weight.
(Wiley)
Prince William's fiancee, Kate Middleton, recently had a bachelorette party (or "hen party," as they say in England). Although few details were leaked, TopFive feels an obligation to fill in the gaps.
The Top Things Overheard at Kate Middleton's Bachelorette Party
- "I've already had the privilege of holding the royal scepter and orbs, and they suit me quite well."
- "Chippendale *furniture*?!? No, no, NO, you colossal twit!"
- "So how many years before you can upgrade to an Arab billionaire?"
- "Now for the highlight of the evening: the Royal Stripper, Buckingham Phallus!"
- "And from my dear college friend Mathilde, we have... yet *another* Rogaine coupon. Very nice, ladies."
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