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Nov. 1st, 2005|08:41 pm |
The Top Signs You Should Quit Smoking
Motorized tie rack retrofitted with donor lungs mounted on your left arm.
Before entering prison, the notion of trading your virginity for a pack of Camels would never have occurred to you.
No takers for your new invention, the shower ashtray.
Constantly bitching about the no-smoking policy in the neo-natal ICU.
After you sneeze, your hankie looks like a Dalmatian.
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I don't believe in organized religion, so I joined a disorganized religion. Last Sunday, the preacher overslept and arrived thirty minutes late with no sermon, and then the Ladies' Auxiliary lost the names of people volunteering for next week's bake sale.
(Chris Lipe)
You can get farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word. But if you've got the gun and the kind word *and* you've got a big tray of nice, crisp bacon to pass around, man, you can pretty much write your own ticket.
(Andy Ihnatko)
P.S. Šis un citi - no www.topfive.com, ja kas. |
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