|
Jun. 11th, 2010|08:19 am |
Oh, it's a *rabbit's* foot that is lucky. I guess the least I can do now is buy Rabbi Baumel some crutches.
As I near my 33rd birthday, I'm a little worried that God is going to tell me that I am the second coming of the Messiah. I don't doubt that I'd be a great leader, but I know I have at least a dozen good filthy Ruminations still in me that won't look good on the ol' Judgment Day resume.
It's been said that "Love conquers all," but if I were in a fight, I think I'd rather have a real weapon, like a knife. I'd write "love" on it with a felt-tip pen, though, just in case the saying is true.
The Top Signs Satan Is Your Roommate
- There are messages on the machine from Ashlee Simpson, apologizing and asking for one more chance.
- He screams, "Posers!!" at the radio every time Marilyn Manson songs are playing.
- Every day for lunch it's the same thing: pea soup.
- He's been frantic about his "home office" temperature ever since the Red Sox won the World Series.
- Whenever you say, "Jesus Christ," she always jumps up and shouts, "WHERE!?"
- He was kicked out of Ethics class due to his constant giggling.
The Top Army TV Shows
- The Mary Tyler Mortar Show
- Breaking Baghdad
- Criminal Mines
- The New Adventures of Old Latrine
- Everybody Hates PVT Chris
- Doogie Howitzer, HE
- Are You Smarter Than a 2nd Lieutenant?
- So You Think You Can March
- One Simple Rule for Never Dating the General's Daughter
- Lost (French Army only)
The business climate, and everything else, has changed A LOT since 1969. The original version states "In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence."
The Top Updated Versions of the Peter Principle
- "Only organizations who learn to synergize their six-sigma systems and optimize the paradigm of effective change-agent realization and implementation will pervasively embrace the... what the hell was the question again?"
- "Where there are more than three whistleblowers in a department, OSHA mandates that all employees wear earplugs."
- "Management and Janitorial are the only two things that can't be offshored. Both deal with crap all day long."
- "In a publically traded company, the trajectory from boardroom billionaire to convicted felon is about 2 years, give or take."
- "Everyone in Upper Management is a *Peter*."
- "Gen X is just biding it's time till all of these damn incompetent boomers retire."
- "A rising tide of idiots raises all morons."
- "In a hierarchy, everyone in Upper management gets huge bonuses for results they don't control."
No TopFive.com |
|