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May. 11th, 2010|10:16 am |
The Top Signs That Your Law Clerks Are Trying to Kill You
- *Another* "Id." citation without an italicized period? They *know* what that does to your blood pressure.
- If the fact working them 80 hours a week for no pay hasn't clued you in, it's unlikely a humor list will.
- You just found a train ticket and a box of fireworks on your desk.
- You don't recall requesting research on "Blunt Force Impact v. Cerebellum."
- Suggests that you grant cert in O'Brien v. Leno.
- "All rise! This session of criminal court is now in session. The Honorable Fred Nichols, who lives at 3941 West Overlook Boulevard, Springfield, presiding."
- You keep finding slip opinions with banana peels underneath them, left on the floor near your desk.
The Top Reasons Windows 7 *Wasn't* Our Idea
- It still can't seem to figure out what I *intend* to do.
- I've been too busy soldering the last connections on my Altair 8800.
- I'd have gotten rid of all the bugs before releasing it.
- All I asked for was a simple porn finder that integrates seamlessly into the OS.
- I'm saving my ideas for Windows 13. They involve USB circular saws and pliers.
- I need something that runs all my favorite viruses.
The Top Events at a Scientific Olympics
- Measuring the Average Velocity of a 60-kg Projectile Down a Nearly Frictionless Surface of Pre-Determined Incline
- Vent Hood Storage Cramming
- Peer-Review High Hurdles
- DNAthlon
- 26.2 Hour Marathon Proposal Writing
- Dry Ice Dancing
- 510 Nanometer Greenstyle
- Synchronized Synthesizing
- Vector Triathalon: Curling, Gradienting, and Divergencing
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