| WWIII |
[Feb. 18th, 2025|10:25 am] |
|
Vai kaadam veel Staarmers neatgaadina gadiijumaa Maiklu Skotu no Office? |
|
|
| |
[Feb. 17th, 2025|07:27 am] |
Hello bummer my old friend. Izskataas, ka esmu back on depression train. How silly for me to think that there is any worth in my approach to life, how silly to expect or hope of people. Anyways, all I can do is happily wait to be abandoned, and it is really fine.
Vienkaarshi aizveerties un stumt, un paartraukt buut romantiskai un naivai losei. Feelings are so disgusting and pathetic.
Es tieshaam sev riebjos, ja es buutu pljavas pukje tad es buutu pretiiga gundega kura ir maaksliigi dzeltena un kurai taapat nevienam nevajadzeetu pieskarties, lai rokas nesasmeereetos ar indi - useless flower and gross in a Zizek way. |
|
|
| |
[Feb. 16th, 2025|04:31 pm] |
I am actually really bad at conversation, at a calm discussion. Viss ko es daru ir apvainojos, raudu un puushos.
Es saku, ka gribu tikt uzklausiita un ka veelos izrunaaties, bet es nemaz nemaaku logjiski runaat un pakljaujos savaam paarspiileetajaam emocijaam, labi zinot ka it's existential geoengineering and mental chemtrails.
Taapeec jau es uzskatu, ka prieksh manis labaak ir visu manu voblu nokluseet un izlikties, ka viss ir cieshami, liidz vobla aizmirstas uz kaadu briidi un paarnjem aizmirstiigs meerens priecinjsh.
Jo alternatiiva ir taarpu bundzhas un neveiklas, ljuriigas rokas, kas izbaarsta toksiskus taarpus un pashas sevi sagraiza.
Izlikties vienmeer ir vislabaakais risinaajums, that is the ultimate generational trauma breaking. |
|
|
| |
[Feb. 15th, 2025|04:48 pm] |
Just when you thought you're done with depressive 20s angst and hedonistic melancholia, here comes...parental burnout!
And while you can easily snap out of depression just by stopping being an infantile child, you cannot easily not burn out in a world where you are a single available wooden log lol, beacuse the other available log doesn't vibe with perpetual anxiety not only about yourself but now about two extra humans, thus is not really availble to alleviate your anxieties.
Es juutos reaali vientulja, jo man nav neviens, kam pasuudzeeties par savu gruuto sirdi. R kaa jau tipisks viirietis uzreiz piedaavaa risinaajumus, kas ir driizaak ideaalistiski nevis reaalistiski, so I don't even bother. Katru reizi kad vinjam kaut ko meegjinu teikt I feel like feelings are just annoying to him. Mamma mani uzreiz nostrosteetu, ka esmu vaaja un neizdariiga, pasiiva laame. Draugu man iisti nav, ja atskaita A, bet vinja var tikai piedaavaat simbolisku "ah, that sucks girl" over whatsapp message. Ar maasaam man attieciibu vairs iisti nav jo dziivojam dazhaadaas pasaulees. Un teetim pasham probleemu pietiek. Dievs kaa parasti droshivien visu redz bet ignoree un gaida for me to snap maybe.
I feep alone, isolated, mute.
Viss ko es varu dariit ir katru dienu izdziivot.
Which I hate jo, tad kad es juutos shitik vaaja un sabiegta, tad arii es slikti izturos pret R. Bet ko gan es vinjam vareetu piedaavaat, kaa klusumu un vilshanaas vibes. Nav te nekaada romantika un superflirts, not with this human remain that is me. Un lai arii vinjsh nav, es visu laiku kaut kaa domaaju, ka taa ir vinja vaina. Kaapeec vinju neinteresee kaa es juutos? Kaapeec vinjsh man nepaliidz? Kaapeec vinjsh mani ir atstaajis novaartaa?
Then again, vismaz labi ka es esmu pilnasiniigi pieradusi pie vientuliibas jau no beerniibas. So katru reizi, kad cilveeki man uzgriezh muguru, es sev speeju atgaadinaat - luuk, you are in your natural place and state, this is your comfortable and familiar mode of existence, you were always going to end up here.
Vieniigais, es arii gribeeju miilestiibu un uzticeeshanos un kristaalskaidru sapratni. Pipedreams. |
|
|
| *** |
[Feb. 5th, 2025|05:01 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Mac Miller - Donald Trump | ] |
Pēc divām stundām visos amīšu štatos būs masu protesti, bet kaut kā mūsu masīvie masu mēdiji nespēj par to nekā pateikt. Interesanti nudien. Internets ir miris. |
|
|