Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 120 most recent ones recorded in FMyLife's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
7:09 pm	homerr123 says FML http://www.fmylife.com/work/21002397 Today, my manager rejected my leave application for Christmas. Later I found out that I'm going to be the only employee working at the office during Christmas. FML (Comment on this)
7:09 pm	rejected says FML http://www.fmylife.com/kids/21002184 Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML (Comment on this)
Monday, December 23rd, 2013
6:42 pm	GogglesGoggles says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21002133 Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML (Comment on this)
6:42 pm	Lucie says FML http://www.fmylife.com/love/21001750 Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML (Comment on this)
6:42 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/work/21001701 Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML (Comment on this)
6:42 pm	blackcarnation says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21001557 Today, my brother got a new saxophone. He thought a good way to break it in was to play it in my ear. Loudly. While I was sleeping. FML (Comment on this)
6:42 pm	bastard says FML http://www.fmylife.com/kids/21001530 Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML (Comment on this)
6:42 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/kids/21001381 Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML (Comment on this)
6:42 pm	bleach bleach bleach says FML http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/21001267 Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML (Comment on this)
6:42 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/kids/21001182 Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML (Comment on this)
6:42 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/21001045 Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 22nd, 2013
6:15 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/work/21000984 Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML (Comment on this)
6:15 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21000942 Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML (Comment on this)
6:15 pm	Isitreallythatbad, says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21000904 Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML (Comment on this)
6:15 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/21000521 Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML (Comment on this)
6:15 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21000427 Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML (Comment on this)
6:15 pm	back to creepers says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21000308 Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML (Comment on this)
6:15 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/kids/21000259 Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML (Comment on this)
6:15 pm	FML says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21000124 Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML (Comment on this)
6:15 pm	00bsg says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21000068 Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML (Comment on this)