f3 -

Jenova, when I became your apprentice, you told me to shut up and not argue with you. Apparently a sorceress is supposed to be a creature who blindly accepts the opinions of the authorities, even when she firmly believes that they are wrong. From this, I learned that when Jen says something I disagree with, I need to nod and make agreeing sounds anyway. Otherwise we would have to fight every two minutes, and quite frankly, saying what I thought wasn't worth that hassle.

I am not, however, your apprentice anymore, and I am free to say what I think-- and I will, because it's a relief to say it, even if you aren't reading this. I do not actually give a crap whether you read it or not. It will hurt your feelings, and you will care that it happened, and I don't. You have been warned.

THIS, be it right or wrong, IS WHAT I THINK:
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-You do not look like any FF characters. You look like Jennifer Cornet. End of story.

-I, for that matter, look nothing like Yuna. Yuna looks ASIAN.

-You have no money because you keep spending it on things you want.

-Anything you want is not automatically a magical item. There may be potential magic in everything, but then there's magic in things you don't bother to look at. Things you can have for free.

-If something IS a magical item, that doesn't mean you MUST own it. It would be nice if you could, but you can't always do so.

-I had money because I rarely bought anything for myself. Whenever I got some money, I would save it. I am not a money generator, and neither are my parents. If you want to have money, you need to not spend it.

-I now do not have money, because I spent it on you. Poof, all gone. You still wanted more, but I didn't have any more to give you.

-Nobody has everything they want. Not you, not Renee, not Zack, not Tickles, not Carina, not Britney Spears, not your parents, not Wakka, not Dubya, not even me. This is called "life." It's a bitch.

-When a person, any person, gets something he wants, he immediately starts wanting something else. This is called "being human." It, too, is a bitch.

-Soulbonds may be important. However, if you treat them like they are more important than what happens in the real world, then your real life will probably suffer. Your soulbond life, however, will be wonderful. If these results are unsatisfactory to you, then give your real life priority.

-You, not your soulbonds, are responsible for what you do.

-You are responsible for what your body does. If you cannot live with what your soulbonds do, don't let them out. If you cannot keep them from getting out, you may want to get help. Otherwise you will be blamed for what your soulbonds do. End of story.

-You are responsible for what you do even when you are puppeted. That is how it is. Do not expect puppeting to excuse your behavior. If you cannot live with this, choose a lifestyle that does not involve your being puppeted.

-Having an excuse for something does not make it a good idea.

-If you keep talking about how good you are at everything, people will say they agree, regardless of their real opinions, because it is impolite not to. They will, however, eventually get sick of having to agree and start to dislike you.

-If you keep talking about how bad you are at everything, people will say they disagree in order to cheer you up. They will get sick of this too.

-Whether or not people say you are good at something does not change how good at it you actually are.

-If Renee does not go to class and do her homework, it will be difficult for her to pass those classes. Then she is no closer to graduating. Until she graduates, it will be hard for her to get a job that makes more money than she gets now. This is called "capitalism" and it's a bitch. No one likes it, but no one has come up with anything that works any better.

-Renee always has to call off work or skip class to give you attention. She does this because she loves you. Love makes people do irrational and reckless things. This is one of them. That does not make it a good idea.

-You are wrecking Renee's life.

-It is wrong to do so, even if you have her permission.

-Everyone needs attention. Everyone also needs to shut up sometimes and let people pay attention to something else.

-You stole my crystals and doujinshi. They do not belong to you and you took them and refuse to give them back. They are not yours.

-I have been using crystals since I was ten years old. You are wrong when you start with that "you won't use them properly" shit because I've been using crystals since elementary school.

-You taught me no magic. The only thing I actually learned from you was to beware of people like you.

-The doctors probably cannot figure out what is wrong with you because you are not sick.

-If you feel like you are fat, eat less. Do not whine about it. No one else cares whether or not you are fat.

-It is ridiculous to expect others to never talk about grocery bills because of the chance that you might be able to reinterpret it as a criticism of your eating habits.

-Most people do not spend as much on food as you do.

-Since you can barely pay your other bills, this is not a good idea.

-Healthy friendships do not require fighting. Healthy relationships with parents or lovers possibly do, because you are required to agree in order to decide what to do, and this creates conflict. Friends do not have to agree all the time, so they do not have to fight.

-I do not fight with the vast majority of my friends. These friendships are nevertheless healthy.

-You fight with everyone. A good number of these relationships are not healthy.

-If you don't want to have fights, stop picking them.

-If you don't want everyone to treat you like the bad guy, don't act like one. Taking orders from Ultimecia might not be the best idea.

-People only feel sorry for you so many times. If your life is bad, change it so it isn't bad anymore.

-Having bad things in your past does not excuse behavior in the present.

-Life lessons are not the same thing as magic lessons, but you mix them up. I never signed up to take life lessons from you.

-You are not very good at life.

-This is your own problem. But you should not try to teach other people how to live, because you yourself do not know.

-You were not my best friend, no matter how many times you said you were, and no matter how many times I had to agree with you so as not to upset you. You were a good friend and you were important to me, but you were not my best friend. Someone else is.

-If you had not been important to me, I would not have even bothered to agree with you.

-If Renee were not so important to me, you might not have been, either.

-Proclaiming yourself a bitch does not excuse being one.

-If you are going to be bitchy, expect others to be bitchy back.

-I never claimed being the "sweet and innocent" one. You are the one who called me that. In fact, I specifically said I do not think of myself as being that way. Do not be so shocked when I do not act that way. I am not being puppeted; I am being pissed off.

-Nobody is an archetype in real life.

-YOU are the one who betrays your friends, not vice-versa.

-Most of our mutual acquaintances do not trust you. At least, that is what they have told me.

-Nobody is going to trust you if you keep crying wolf.

-You lie a lot, and rarely even stick to one consistent story.

-A lot of people notice that you are a liar, even if they do not say so to your face.

-I do not "want to go to Penn State anyway." Had I decided to go there for grad school, it would have been specifically for the companionship of people who live there. I actually go to a better school, and I would prefer to keep going to better schools.

-Telling someone that they want to do something does not make them actually want to do it. It just makes them think that you are wrong.

-You are more childish than any other adult I know. You act like you're about twelve, except when you're acting like you're two.

-You do not know anything about anyone else's soulbonds, except maybe their name, hairstyle, and a rough sketch of their past.

-You look silly when you pretend that you do know about others' soulbonds. Most of the time you guess things and you guess wrong.

-You have a sexual relationship with a girl. The term "lesbian" applies to your relationship. It is unreasonable of you to get upset if someone calls you one. You are one.

-You are the ONLY one acting like there is something wrong with it. "Lesbian" is not a criticism; it is a fact. No one has criticized you.

-Not everything that is said about you is criticism or praise. Some of it is just fact.

-You take everything personally, regardless of whether or not people are trying to criticize or praise you. Because of this, you feel hurt whenever anybody says anything.

-If you want to stop feeling hurt, stop taking things personally. Not everything people say is designed to make Jen feel good or bad. In fact, very little of what is said is designed to make Jen feel good or bad. Most people avoid making personal statements most of the time.

-This does not apply when people are angry.

-Many people are now angry at you. Most of it is your fault.

-I realize that you will take all of this personally, should you ever read it. You will feel bad. Anyone would. I am not that stupid. If you didn't want that to happen, you shouldn't be reading a list of "things I thought about Jen but never told her." Feeling bad is a fairly obvious consequence of doing that. If you are hurt, it is your fault.

-Most of the time, when you get hurt, it is your fault. This is true of most adults in most situations. That's just how it is.