It's so hard now. Comming back home so powerless. Need to get into this stuff, new people, new place, new house, new job, new school new timetable... New life, in some kind of way. Sometimes I just want to stop and with clear mind realise what is going on, even my body can't get with all this and is sending signs and so so painful and hard to stand. First steps are always hard, but I need to accept this truth that this chance is given for me by God and it's a gift. Some may call it destiny, some that the white line has started in the life and all is going up and for good. Well, basically, all these thoughts are right. I hope and I will cope with all this, I will make it. But for now - getting up early coming home late, with heavy eyes drinking some nerve tea and going to bed. And over and out in just a sec.

Sometimes when this rush has stopped by the red traffic light I have a sec to think over something that suddenly gets in my mind. And now basically it is - when? In what time? So fast. Remember living in large family, running naked in the grass or in the beach, and had no responsibilities, there were thought about my needs and I didn't need to worry about anything. It was even some months ago... How all is changing and so fast... I want come home and meet there my precious, with warm tea and hugs and lot of love. And when I'm free from works give as much love and careness as I can. An live in harmony. And - remember that - it's not impossible! As you said eli - all is in our minds! Just for now, my mind is bit confused and running, Soon, it will pass and everything will be so so goooood.