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[Sep. 24th, 2007|01:34 pm] |
“MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.”
“Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house
arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged
seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it
is they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Hitler
killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won't
stand for that, will we?”
“Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).”
“Cause if you're a transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy, that's where the sexuality is. Yeah, it's not drag queen, no; gay men have got that covered. This is male tomboy, and people do get that mixed up, they put transvestite there - no no no no! Little bit of a crowbar separation, thank you! And gay men, I think, would agree. It's male lesbian, that's really where it is, ok? Because… it's true! ‘Cause most transvestites fancy girls, fancy women. So that's where it is.”
"Two languages in one head? No one can live at that speed! Good Lord man, you're asking the impossible!" "But, the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!" "Well … yes, but they're cheating! Everyone knows that marijuana is a drug enhancement that helps you on track and field to come last in a team of eight million … eight million other runners who are all dead."
Eddie Izzard |
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