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[Oct. 20th, 2009|08:05 am] |
The Top Signs Your Pet Is Planning to Kill You
- On the TV: a Discovery Channel show on piranhas. In the aquarium: your goldfish, furiously taking notes.
- You find a to-do list with:
1) drink from toilet
2) kill master
4) drink from toilet again
- "I CAN HAZ FAVA BEANS AN' NISE KEYANTI?"
- Slinky the python keeps showing up in the closet whenever you're looking for a tie.
- You find scrawled notes reading, "DUEL? HIM: SIX SHOTS; ME: NINE LIVES."
- The flash has faded and the camera is back in its bag, but the bunny still has glowing red eyes.
- Your cat leaves the dog's head in your bed.
- Rover won't fetch the newspaper to save his ass, but as soon as you slip into the bath, here he comes with the toaster.
- Lassie just stands there at the top of the well, chuckling.
- Your gerbil has spelled out "What Would OJ Do?" in poop pellets.
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