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[Jun. 16th, 2009|08:28 am]
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They can't pull the rug out from under you if you're already lying on the floor.
The Covert Comic

When I turned 40, I decided to clean up my act and gave up drinking and smoking. Man, it was tough -- there's no way I'd have gotten through that period without my heroin.
Kevin Freels

After a tumultuous night of tossing and turning, I determined that, warm as it may be, the dryer isn't the best place to sleep.
Kimberly Ciesiolka


The Top Differences in a Scaled-Back Hollywood Movie

- In "Die Hard or Melt," Bruce Willis has to protect the neighborhood ice cream truck from the local bullies.
- Biopics such as "Milk" and "W" give way to "Dave Schwartz: One Man's Battle with Toe Fungus."
- Quentin Tarantino has to make up the deficit with a swear jar.
- Not only has the plot changed substantially, but the sequel to "Transformers" was shot entirely on location at a drag club.
- Due to catering budget cuts, Kevin James has been replaced by Rob Schneider in "Paul Blart: Mall Cop II."

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