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[Sep. 15th, 2008|11:27 am] |
Today at work, I was walking down the hall with a tape gun in my hand, and I gave in to the overwhelming desire to tape everything and everyone I saw. I guess it's a good thing it wasn't a real gun.
Deadeye Dave
The Top Advantages of Turning into a Giant Fly
- Profoundly enhanced buzz-osity.
- No need to take out the trash if you ate it for lunch.
- You land on it, it's yours.
- Suddenly flat beer, stale pizza and pixie stix work as a balanced diet
- Yesterday you spit acid and dissolved the person sitting next to you on the bus. Today, no one sat next to you, not even the crazy people, Finally you get to ride in peace.
- Multi-faceted eyes, extra arms and wings serve you well when you take the four-year-old twins to the mall.
- Extra set of arms: eat chips, drink beer, channel surf and scratch, all at once!
- Cliches be damned, you *can* defecate where you ingest sustenance!
- You eat crap. It's an election year. You do the math.
The Top Internet Euphemisms for Death
- Clicked the bucket
- www.he's-dead-jim.com
- Invested in Pointcast
- Visiting the Chat Tomb
- No longer able to view the web's hottest women
- </life>
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