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[Sep. 2nd, 2008|05:14 pm] |
The Top Signs Your City's Mayor Is in Legal Trouble
- City Council meetings now have extras seats for the corrections officers.
- A class action sexual harassment suit is filed against him.
- Announces he's going on a seventeen state, four nation goodwill tour, but won't say where or when.
- He got re-elected Mayor by a landslide 54,000 votes, although only 45,000 people were eligible to vote.
- He owns more cars than Jay Leno.
- The mayor's suits, once subtly pinstriped, now have more noticeable stripes. And they're horizontal. And black and white.
- She vows to cut large chunks out of the city budget, starting with funding for pesky grand juries.
- He's having the local jail schematics tattooed in reverse on his left buttock.
- He's basically phoning in his "State of the City" address, from behind Plexiglass
The Top High Tech Gadgets Remade As Cheap but Functional Kids' Toys
- Bully Proof Body Armor.
- Hot Wheels "The Real Thing" Auto Theft Kit. Complete with slim-jim and ignition puller.
- Barbie Whole House Vacuum Cleaner. It really sucks!
- Transformers Doomda! The robot vacuum cleaner for easy collateral damage cleanup.
- Shrinky Dinks Electron Microscope.
- Baby's First SuperComputer by Fisher Price.
- Lego Bucky Balls.
- Dr. Fermi supercollider, some assembly required.
- Transformers "AC Magic Voltage Changer" with convenient wall-mount action.
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