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[Jun. 28th, 2008|01:51 pm] |
If I'm ever beheaded by terrorists, I'm going to run around like a headless chicken and get infidel blood all over those jerks.
Jerry L. Embry
We already know wieners come in packs of 10 and hot dog buns come in packs of 8, but let's also remember that dwarfs come in packs of 7 and Sinatra comes in packs of rat. No wonder life makes no sense.
Bob the Hammer
The Top Worst Ways to Begin a "The Birds and the Bees" Talk
- "It all starts when a guy feels the need to bust his nut..."
- "Kids, I know you're somewhat confused about me sharing a bed with 'Uncle' Mike..."
- "Sometimes guys have unquenchable urges, and that's what this Fleshlight's for."
- "You're old enough now, son, to know all about where you came from. Well, it was like this: First I came, then your mother came, then you came."
- "Say, are you knocked up?"
- "Remember that donkey show we saw in Mexico a few years back? No? Then how about that miscarriage you had last year?"
- "First things first: Coed Beer Pong is a frat boy's best friend."
- "Son, we can delay this little talk for as long as you remain president of the Chess Club."
- "Remember, sweetie: No girl ever got pregnant through her rectum."
- "When a man and a woman truly love each other, and her parents are late picking her up from the 8th-grade graduation dance..."
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