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[Mar. 20th, 2008|10:59 am] |
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
Laurence J. Peter
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
WC Fields
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Robert Benchley
If you wish to be loved, show more of your faults than your virtues.
Robert Bulwer-Lytton
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart."
Caryn Leschen
A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight. They were advertising that they served the balls of the bull who lost the bullfight. Intrigued, the man went inside, only to find that where was a six-week waiting list to get to eat the loser's balls. So he signed up and came back six weeks later. When he got his meal, there were two teeny, teeny balls on his plate. He called the waiter over to complain.
"I've waited six weeks for bull balls. What are these?"
"Sir," the waiter said, "the bull doesn't always lose."
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “seniors’ special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
“Sounds good,” my wife said. “But I don’t want the eggs.”
“Then I’ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents, ’cause now you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress said.
“You mean I’m going to have to pay more for not having the eggs?” my wife asked, incredulously. “Then I’ll take the special.”
“How do you want your eggs?” asked the waitress.
“Raw, in the shell,” my wife replied. She took the two eggs home.
DON’T MESS WITH SENIORS!!! |
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