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[Jan. 24th, 2008|01:18 pm]
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The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs recently declared he'd like to close the prison at beautiful Guantanamo Bay. But what kind of analysis has been done on the possible ramifications to our nation and the world?

The Top Repercussions if Gitmo Closes

- Surprise! Senator Byrd gets another prison in West Virginia.
- Can I tell you about this great new timeshare investment opportunity in the Caribbean?
- President Bush appoints a "Tourism Czar" whose first job is to market the "New Alcatraz."
- With security and lodging already in place, Guantanamo announces its bid for the 2020 Olympics.
- The price of Koran-themed TP plummets.
- Prisoner population of U.S. jails increases by 0.00001%.
- Former guards open "Li'l Gitmo" day-care centers.
- Admirals forced to start smoking domestic cigars.
- No doubt the prisoners will complain about moving this winter to their new home: Lambeau Field, Green Bay, Wisconsin.

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