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[Nov. 29th, 2007|10:28 am]
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I always thought high blood pressure was the silent killer -- until I met a ninja with burrito farts.
Travis Ruetenik

The Top Ways My Drill Instructor Was Tough

- He took a bullet for screw-up Private Chuck Norris. After he recovered, he beat Chuck Norris half-to-death with it.
- In honor of his home town of Indianapolis, he was fond of saying "Drop and give me 500!"
- He once dated Jane Fonda ... and admitted it.
- When I told her I was a restless sleeper, she made me wear barbed-wire pajamas.
- He rappelled out of the womb on his umbilical cord, then spanked himself.
- She touched up her uniform during the day by ironing it -- while wearing it.
- He stood on one leg at the urinal, just for the discipline.
- She could push-start a C-130.
- He performed his own appendectomy. In the dark. With a rusty P-38.

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