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[Nov. 15th, 2007|01:56 pm] |
#1 New Year's Resolution is always to join a gym. But some gyms are a wee bit scarier than others, eh?
The Top Reasons Not to Join That Gym
- Clothing Optional Fridays.
- The trainers uniforms consist only of padded jock strap, padded sports bra and studded riding crop.
- There are two locker rooms. One labeled "Unisex" the other labeled "Bisex".
- "Uh, can you come back in 20 minutes? All the staff are in back on their smoke break."
- The locker room has more glory holes than showers.
- It's name "The Sweat Shoppe" doesn't seem so cute now you see that the exercise bikes are all hooked up to textile machines.
- The gym is in a neighborhood so bad that you need to bring your own front wheel for the Spin class.
The Top 8 Signs You’ve Had Too Many Hospital Vending Machine Meals
- Whenever you take a day off, hospital administration raises the price on soft drinks by half just to compensate.
- You caught yourself sticking patient files in the microwave for 60 seconds.
- Your name appears as a separate item on the hospital's income statement.
- You have more diarrhea than 95% of your patients.
- In your low-blood sugar confusion, you tried to hit C-12, and the cafeteria cashier hit you back.
- You just tried to put a dollar into the EKG machine, and were shocked when it didn't work.
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