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[Nov. 13th, 2007|12:19 pm] |
The Top Secrets of Sputnik
- The tightest held secret was that the entire space race was a sham to keep the U.S. so preoccupied with space that they wouldn't attack the USSR. In fact SPUTNIK was actually an acronym for "Soviets Push U.S. To Not Invade Kremlin".
- The top scientist on the program admitted he only built Sputnik to try and impress Jodie Foster.
- "Sputnik" was supposed to be "Spudnik", to honor Russia's affinity for potatoes.
- Sputnik's early launch wasn't because of pressure by the Kremlin but actually just a reason for the project leader to get out of the house for the four months his mother-in-law was "visiting."
- All an elaborate mission to get rid of Khrushchev's neighbor's dog.
The Top Updated Answers "Where Do Babies Come From?"
- "I'll put it this way: Ever seen one of the movie 'Alien'?"
- "Recycled dead people."
- "Hell, if I knew that, you wouldn't be here, now, would you?"
- "From artificially inseminated bohemian ostriches. Now can I watch SportsCenter in peace?"
- "One day your mother was working in the lab, when she was bitten by a radioactive baby."
- "I know this much, son: Mommy tenses up whenever *I* try to go in there."
- "I personally believe that U.S. American babies are adopted from, um, other nations like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our babies over here in the US should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us."
- "Jesus kicked you out of Heaven because he wanted some quiet."
- "Mommy texted 'O' to Daddy and he texted back 'O~~~' and nine months later you appeared on the cell phone bill."
- "Just a minute, I'll show you. HONEY, CAN YOU COME IN HERE A MINUTE?"
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