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[Oct. 5th, 2007|11:47 am] |
The best thing about getting laid is you can wake up in the morning and say to yourself, "Great, I don't have to start working out yet!"
Don Swain
The cops got the wrong idea when they looked inside my fridge. I put Granny inside all that Tupperware after she died because the patented seal is the only thing strong enough to prevent Satan from claiming her eternal soul.
Andy Ihnatko
Whenever I watch Barney the dinosaur, I offer up a prayer of thanks for the meteorite that wiped out the rest.
G. Linsgru
The Top Other Reasons to Find Cash You Didn't Know You Had in Your Wallet/Purse
- Tooth fairy left it there after most of your teeth were knocked out in a bar fight.
- Your check from the gentleman banker in Ghana must have cleared.
- Well, technically it's only been *your* wallet for a few seconds. That guy chasing you probably knows, though.
- Because your short term memory is starting to...COOL! There's a ten I didn't know I had!...term memory is starting to...
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