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[Jun. 22nd, 2007|12:20 am]
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The Top Things Overheard at an Attention Deficit Disorder Support Group Meeting

- "Hi, my name is Mary." "Hi, Scott!"
- "Will everyone please put down their shiny objects so we can begin this...hey, what's that?"
- "To the wiseass who suggested we form a Focus Group: get out!"
- "Can I have your attention please? Today we will start off with...Can I have your attention please? We are going to talk about...Can I have your attention please?"
- "I hear this year they lengthened each session to 3 minutes."
- "Would the recording secretary please read the seconds of the last meeting?"


Paris Hilton Prison Watch: Day 14
The Top Signs Your Celebrity Child Isn't Doing Well in Prison

- Throwing up gross prison food takes all the fun out of bulimia.
- "How am I supposed to reform my life when the feng shui here is simply impossible?"
- Just look at her. She's wearing orange... in the summer! Can no one help her?
- They're talking about early parole "just to stop all the crying."
- The requirement of three square meals a day has pushed her weight up to triple digits.
- Regular inmates aren't respecting the velvet rope that limits access to his cell.
- Even his cellmate doesn't want his autograph.
- There's no body double for the shower scenes.
- He just sold the rights to his life story for a pack of smokes.
- She wants you to smuggle in her Chihuahua, baked inside a cake.

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