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Jan. 6th, 2005 | 11:49 am
Right now, everything is going wrong for me - if I fell in a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb!
QPR boss Ian Holloway.
It was deliberate. I am sure some people think that I have not got the brains to be that clever, but I do have the brains.
England brainbox David Beckham on his decision to intentionally get himself booked in the World Cup qualifier against Wales.
Why are you always in red? Is it your lucky colour?
Local journalist to Formula One star Michael Schumacher before inaugural Chinese Grand Prix.
Will the owner of a horse attached to a rag and bone cart in the visitors' car park return to his vehicle immediately?
Cardiff City PA announcer Ali Yassin welcomes West Ham to Ninian Park.
I know I can't go on forever - how can I forget it when my so-called team-mates keep asking me which king was on the throne when I started and what football was like in the Dark Ages!
Bolton's veteran striker Les Ferdinand.
I like visiting Silverstone - it's a reminder of what racing was like in the 1950s.
F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone has a dig at Silverstone - just for a change.
You never know who you'll walk into in a busy street.
Sir Alex Ferguson refuses to rule out signing Wayne Rooney - or whoever else he might happen to bump into.
If I wanted to have an easy job... I would have stayed at Porto - beautiful blue chair, the Uefa Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me.
Chelsea coach Jose Mourinho makes a mockery of those who suggest he is big-headed.
The skirts look like they're a little difficult to run in. I think they need to be shorter, maybe.
Andre Agassi gives his verdict on the model ball girls at the Madrid Masters.
BRIAN CLOUGH SECTION
They caress a football the way I dreamed of caressing Marilyn Monroe.
The late footballing icon gives his verdict on Arsenal after they beat Nottingham Forest's unbeaten record.
When I joined, he came walking down the corridor and said 'Ah, you must be Edward Sheringham'. I told him I was, but that I preferred to be called Teddy. He said 'OK, welcome to the club, Edward.'
Teddy Sheringham remembers his first meeting with the great man.
SIR BOBBY ROBSON SECTION
In the first half he took a corner, a poor corner which hit the first defender, and it took him 17 minutes to get back to the half-way line.
The former Newcastle boss on Laurent Robert - the world's slowest player, apparently.
He's the only man I know who could start an argument with himself.
On Craig Bellamy
NOTICE OF THE YEAR
No soup or pizza allowed inside for safety reasons.
Sign on door of away dressing room at Man City for visit of Arsenal.
QPR boss Ian Holloway.
It was deliberate. I am sure some people think that I have not got the brains to be that clever, but I do have the brains.
England brainbox David Beckham on his decision to intentionally get himself booked in the World Cup qualifier against Wales.
Why are you always in red? Is it your lucky colour?
Local journalist to Formula One star Michael Schumacher before inaugural Chinese Grand Prix.
Will the owner of a horse attached to a rag and bone cart in the visitors' car park return to his vehicle immediately?
Cardiff City PA announcer Ali Yassin welcomes West Ham to Ninian Park.
I know I can't go on forever - how can I forget it when my so-called team-mates keep asking me which king was on the throne when I started and what football was like in the Dark Ages!
Bolton's veteran striker Les Ferdinand.
I like visiting Silverstone - it's a reminder of what racing was like in the 1950s.
F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone has a dig at Silverstone - just for a change.
You never know who you'll walk into in a busy street.
Sir Alex Ferguson refuses to rule out signing Wayne Rooney - or whoever else he might happen to bump into.
If I wanted to have an easy job... I would have stayed at Porto - beautiful blue chair, the Uefa Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me.
Chelsea coach Jose Mourinho makes a mockery of those who suggest he is big-headed.
The skirts look like they're a little difficult to run in. I think they need to be shorter, maybe.
Andre Agassi gives his verdict on the model ball girls at the Madrid Masters.
BRIAN CLOUGH SECTION
They caress a football the way I dreamed of caressing Marilyn Monroe.
The late footballing icon gives his verdict on Arsenal after they beat Nottingham Forest's unbeaten record.
When I joined, he came walking down the corridor and said 'Ah, you must be Edward Sheringham'. I told him I was, but that I preferred to be called Teddy. He said 'OK, welcome to the club, Edward.'
Teddy Sheringham remembers his first meeting with the great man.
SIR BOBBY ROBSON SECTION
In the first half he took a corner, a poor corner which hit the first defender, and it took him 17 minutes to get back to the half-way line.
The former Newcastle boss on Laurent Robert - the world's slowest player, apparently.
He's the only man I know who could start an argument with himself.
On Craig Bellamy
NOTICE OF THE YEAR
No soup or pizza allowed inside for safety reasons.
Sign on door of away dressing room at Man City for visit of Arsenal.