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[Aug. 31st, 2010|08:02 am]
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If brevity is the soul of wit, why does it have more syllables?

Maybe somebody should make a real gun with one of those red plastic things the toy guns have. Then your intruder would be all like "Ha ha ha," and you could be all like "BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!"

Until my sister clarified that those were only ultrasound photos, I was convinced she'd had an affair with a skeleton.


The Top Clever Things to Say After Farting in a Crowded Elevator

- "Was that somebody's ringtone?"
- "I TOLD you not to build your community center here."
- "We must be passing the floor with the perfume counter."
- "In some countries, that's a marriage proposal."
- "Will someone please tell Donald Duck to quit giggling?"
- "No, no, NO! It's supposed to be all together as we pass the 6th floor! That was the most pathetic flash mob I've ever seen!"
- "Good thing you're all deaf else I'd be *really* embarrassed!"
- (In hushed classical music deejay voice): "And that concludes the first movement of 'The Alimentary Suite' by Sphincterelli."


The Top Rhyming Business Names

- Amputees Trimming Trees
- 22nd-Level Mages Designing Pages
- Busta's Whores' Delicious S'mores
- Nerds With Turds Fertilizer
- Kate "Cum" Lowder: Cake Jumper-Outer

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