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[Aug. 3rd, 2010|10:48 am] |
Recent studies show conclusively that my chances for sex increase by 7.2 percent for each additional woman in my bed. Unfortunately, they plummet to 0 percent if one of those women is my wife.
The Top Internet Greeting Cards
- Congratulations, Graduate! You've Stopped Using AOL Dial-Up!
- Thank you for fixing my computer! Please accept this gift in return for not telling anyone how I broke it.
- Congratulations on the n00b arrival!
- Sorry to hear about the malicious editing of your Wikipedia entry.
- Roses are red
Violets are blue
This PDF means
I pwn you
- I've always known who I am, and now it's time to let you know, too. Mom, Dad: I like Macs.
- Sorry about your Windows 7 upgrade. Get well!
- At times like this it is hard to know how to go on. You have my deepest sympathy and condolences on your blue screen.
The Top Surprises at Chelsea Clinton's Wedding
- For a wedding gift, Bill gave the new groom a $1000 Hooters gift card.
- Al Gore sweated so much while dancing that his joints had to be oiled twice.
- Guests were surprised to learn the lifelike ice sculpture of the bride's mother was ACTUALLY the bride's mother.
- "I didn't know Michael Dukakis was invited."
"He wasn't -- he's working for the caterer."
- The widow is said to be coping well after the Secret Service's tragic misinterpretation of the groom's attempt to smash cake in Chelsea's face.
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