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[Jul. 23rd, 2010|08:44 am] |
One of my co-workers told me this morning that she felt like shit. Well at least now her feelings match her cologne.
No one was quite the grill-master my father was. People gave him the information he wanted every time.
You always see in the movies where the bad guy forces someone to dig their own grave at gunpoint. Why don't any of them ever say, "Hey, screw you! You're going to shoot me anyway -- YOU dig the damned hole!"
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm a time traveler. The only catch is that so far, I can only travel through time at the same rate everyone else is going.
The Top Hints a Supermodel Is a Zombie
- When you take her for sushi, she orders the medulla oblongata roll.
- Orders brains for dinner but only eats one bite.
- Seems especially interested in you and can't stop staring at your pocket protector.
- Was able to converse for 10 minutes with Lindsay Lohan.
- When offered a line of coke she jabs the straw in your forehead and starts snorting.
- Only supermodel you've ever met with a brain, even if she's eating it.
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