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[May. 27th, 2010|09:20 am] |
Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie, especially since the alternative is some kind of creepy hind-leg-walking zombie dog.
There is nothing finer than the love of a good woman. But the love of two bad women is nothing to sneeze at.
I told my wife I would understand if she found another lover after I was gone, because life goes on, and she is a beautiful, vibrant woman who should not be alone. However, I meant "gone" as in "dead," not gone as in "at the office."
I keep getting emails saying, "Order Your FREE Trial!" Those spammers must think I'm an idiot; my court- appointed lawyer told me I already get a free trial.
The Top Signs You're Really Not That Cool Anymore
- When your kids' friends come over, you're introduced as the Jehovah's Witnesses who were just leaving.
- Even if you'd succeeded, "cool" isn't the term most people would associate with an octogenarian firing bottle rockets from his asscrack.
- Once too often you've confused Lady Gaga with Zsa Zsa.
- You call it your Flock of Seagulls. Everyone else calls it World's Worst Comb-Over.
The Top Surprises in the "Lost" Finale
- Richard Alpert's first captain? Jack Sparrow.
- In the parallel reality, the Dharma Initiative has a rival organization: the Greg Group.
- The writers slyly reveal their shooting location when Hurley digs up Barack Obama's long-lost Kenyan birth certificate.
- The million-monkeys, million-typewriters, million-years theory at long last bears fruit when "Lost" screenwriters produce a flawless version of "The Merchant of Venice."
- The smoke monster is indicted for several violations of the Clean Air Act.
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