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[May. 29th, 2008|11:10 am]
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I agree it's morally problematic for our government to subject terror suspects to waterboarding. On the other hand, it could be worse: The government could be subjecting them to snowboarding.
The Covert Comic

Children should be neither seen nor heard -- making them perfect ninja assassins.
Dave Webb

I was all excited when I joined the neighborhood watch group, but it didn't last long. Apparently, they've got some weird policy against knocking on doors and demanding protection money.
Maurizio Mariotti

What's the male equivalent of women's intuition? Most likely, it's hitting something really hard and seeing if it still causes a problem.
The Covert Comic


The Top Signs Your Judge Thinks He Or She Is Royalty

- Court clerk? Check. Court reporter? Check. Court jester? Che--What the hell??
- Attorneys required to sing their opening and closing arguments while second-chair strums a lute.
- He just pulled the gavel out of a stone, signifying that he is rightwise born king of all New York Supreme Court.
- If you win the case the judge allows you to marry his daughter.
- Her gavel is now encrusted in jewels, and the flag pole has been replaced with a scepter.
- Not only do the barristers have to wear powdered wigs, the jurors have to wear those annoying Shakespearean accordion collars.
- When officiating at weddings, insists on his right to sleep with the bride first.
- Will often preside while enjoying a large grease-dripping turkey leg and occasionally ask the bailiff to juggle.
- "Objection!"
"Overruled! Bailiff, off with his head!"


The Top 8 Musicals About The Internet

- Phantom Of The Operating System
- Snow White And The Seven RIAA Lawyers
- The Ping And iTunes
- Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor 40-Inch LCD Monitor
- Kiss Me, Gates
- Gentlemen Prefer Blogs
- LOLCats


The Top 9 Horror Movies For Animals

- Kitty Kitty... Bang! Bang!
- I Know Where You Grazed Last Summer
- V For Veterinarian
- Wienie Todd: The Demon Butcher Of Meat Treats
- Slaughterhouse Live
- The Last Barn On The Left
- The Violence Of The Lambs
- The Apes Of Wrath

No TopFive.com
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