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[Jul. 31st, 2007|03:23 pm]
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The Top Signs Imported Goods Aren't Up to Snuff

- Let's just say there's something rather twisted about these wax candles from Brazil.
- There's an expiration date on your carton of Shat-o #1 Super Happy French Bordo Wine.
- Occasional shards of flea collar and ID tag indicate this manufacturer egregiously misinterpreted the concept of "Puppy Chow."
- "Produced Lovingly in China to Help You Imperialist Bastards Control Your Pet Population."
- While Harry Potter certainly has done a lot of scary things in his books, you're pretty sure marrying Yoko Ono wasn't one of them.
- The talking teddy bear you got your child for Christmas will only say: "Hug me. I'm fat and soft like an American."
- Your new lambada DVD turns out to be video of an Iranian man with a ferret in his pants.
- The Canadian bacon on your pizza tastes just like ham.
- That edition of Windows Vista Ultimate you ordered through the Chinese website for $20 is working flawlessly.
- Your Persian rug keeps coughing up hairballs.
- NOW ENJOY TOPFIVE GOODNESS FUNNY TIME!!!! (assembled in the USA from overseas humor material)

No TopFive.com
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