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[Jun. 5th, 2010|10:42 am]
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I finally found out what I did to make my wife so angry with me: married her.

In my local supermarket, there's an aisle labeled "Foods of the World." But really, shouldn't ALL foods be in that aisle?


Your lovely mod recently saw a lovely documentary about a lovely woman in England who still breastfeeds her children. The kids are 9 and 11 years old. Oh, my.

The Top Signs Your Child Is Too Old to Breastfeed

- Your first nipple piercing is caused by his braces.
- His secretary just called to ask if you can reschedule for 11:45.
- He frequently invites his high-school buddies for dinner.
- Her breasts are bigger than yours.
- The driving instructor said she'd have to unlatch during the actual test.
- She asks if you can hold her BlackBerry.
- Her husband wants in on the action.
- He's getting a little chubby.


The Top Reasons Not to Let Your Fiancee Meet Your Parents

- She might remember your dad since she never forgets a trick.
- If your folks actually put on their glasses, it will become abundantly apparent why you want to marry in Vermont.
- Your dad has recently learned how to surf YouTube.
- She's expressed an interest in a "four-way."
- You can't see both parents at the same time since The State segregates prisoners by gender.
- If she knew they gave her up for adoption five years before you were born, it might get a little awkward.
- Your folks can be kinda prickly. And she's kinda inflatable.
- They might tell your wife.

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