urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodronemethodroneandermane@gmail.com2026-05-20T09:14:28Z2026-05-20T09:14:28ZI bear witness.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10884392026-05-20T10:13:002026-05-20T10:13:002026-05-20T09:14:28Z2026-05-20T09:14:28ZVakar atsaakaam skatiities Rust Cohle. That was a pms mistake.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10881952026-05-18T16:35:002026-05-18T16:35:002026-05-18T15:43:30Z2026-05-18T15:43:30ZDazhreiz, kad es atceros laiku kad straadaaju vai studeeju, paarnjem taada sajuuta, ka varbuut tas bija tikai kaut kaads sapnis? Man bija koleegji? Es lietoju kompjuuteri? Es runaaju ar sveshiniekiem? Un dazhreiz rakstiiju dokumentus? Bet ar kaadaam smadzeneem? Un tagad sajuutos veel vairaak kaa beerns nekaa kad man bija 20 vai early 30s. Es vienkaarshi hroniski juutos kaa beerns, kameer visas sievietes un viirieshi apkaart ir pieaugushie ar pieaugusho domaashanu un darboshanos. Taapeec es arii nekad neapvainojos, kad citi pieaugushie negrib ar mani draudzeeties, jo kaapeec gan draudzeeties ar kaut kaadu siiko, kam nemaz nav kompleksas domas. Un tas izpauzhas visaa - cik naivs un vienkaarshs ir mans domu gaajiens and attempts to have a coherent opinion. Es biezhi juutos, kaa R ir pieaugushais, kas atstaajis mani pusaudzi maajaas pieskatiit divus siikos. Un njemot veeraa, ka es nestraadaaju, vismaz buutu mans pienaakums maaju uztureet mirdzoshaa kondiicijaa un negatavot katru nedeelju vienus un tos pashus piecus eedienus, bet pat to es nofeiloju, jo nu es esmu tikai apmaldiijies pusaudzis.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10878162026-05-17T20:13:002026-05-17T20:13:002026-05-17T19:14:56Z2026-05-17T19:14:56ZPractical support is better than emotional support anyway. And for spiritual support you only need Jesus.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10877292026-05-15T11:16:002026-05-15T11:16:002026-05-15T10:29:29Z2026-05-15T10:29:29ZVisu sho nedeelju es spiezhu R skatiities Worst Ex Ever. Vakar pie kaarteejaas episodes es R saku, ka gee, this is really making me stressed and upset, un skatiijos uzreiz savu heart rate pattern uz fitbita. Tachu par paarsteigumu skatos, ka visu epizodes laiku mans heart rate ir nokrities uz 60 steady, taa it kaa es buutu aizmigusi vai totaalaa miera staavoklii - taa man ir tikai, while nursing K to sleep. Un R tas pats. Izsecinaajaam ka esam vai nu psihopaati, vai arii true crime is just a very relaxing watch for unwinding after a long day.<br /><br />Veel arii shajaa pavasarii man praataa maajo tv trio ko noskatiijaamies, Paradise, For All Mankind un Interstellar, kas ir radiijis taadu neaptveramu, entropisku bet skaistu state of mind, where it makes you cling to whatever is this narrow, sweet consciousness of human brain that gifts us brief, warm familiarity on Earth, that we will never know otherwise not for eternity elsewere.<br /><br />Jaa shii esiiba varbuut nav iista, bet familiaritaate, ko taa izraisa muusu dveeselees, ir apbriinojams fenomens pats par sevi. Varbuut to var izskaidrot tikai ar to, ka viss ir Dieva shkjiedra. Jo kaapeec gan tad es shajos skaidriibas briizhos no sirds miilu pat sava iireetaa dziivoklja nobruzhaataas, magnolijaa kraasotaas toletes durvis - tajaa briidii pasaulee vienkaarshi nav nekaa iipashaaka, kaa manas mazaas noplukushaas maajas ar taas iemiitniekiem un objektiem. Esiibas esences gaisma spiid visam cauri.Atkal lavandu laux.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10873752026-05-13T17:26:002026-05-13T17:26:002026-05-13T16:28:53Z2026-05-13T16:28:53Z13. maijs, 13. juunijs.. man vienkaarshi patiik shie datumi. Jo triispadsmitnieka dziljdomiibu un draudiigumu atbrunjo maija un juunija maigums un dailjums.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10871242026-05-12T16:48:002026-05-12T16:48:002026-05-12T15:51:34Z2026-05-12T15:51:34ZNu un tikko peecpusdienaa, kameer bijaam citaa beernu speeljlaukumaa, vinjam nonshalanti cauri leenaa garaa izgaaja jauns dodgy paskata dzheks ar kaut kaadaam daarza shkjeereem rokaa. Vinjsh staigaaja kaadu laiku apkaart speeljlaukumam, kaut ko dariija ar telefonu turot savus cutters. Es totaalaa paranojaa pagraabu beernus un teicu ka ejam pirkt saldeejumu. Like it just is what it is..urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10869252026-05-12T10:07:002026-05-12T10:07:002026-05-12T09:24:03Z2026-05-12T09:24:03ZYou know you're in London (and also in a failed idea of society aka The West) when.. devinjos no riita tukshaa beernu speeljlaukumaa esi tikai tu, tava divgadiigaa meitinja un transvestiits shuupolees.<br /><br />*<br /><br />Es biezhi domaaju par to cik impotenta un ievainojama es juutos kopsh beerniem. Pirms beerniem tu vienkaarshi dari visas lietas ko no tevis sabiedriiba sagaida - reekjini, darbs, jebkas bla bla pilseeta un bankas konti. Bet kopsh beerniem, man ir sajuuta ka dienu un nakti visus shos gadus es staavu pie sveetaas uguns, kas man ir jaanosargaa un jaauztur, es nevaru noveerst ne aci. Taapeec logjiski ka nekam citam nav laika. Veel ar S, kad es atgriezos darbaa kad vinjam bija 11 meeneshi, es laikam veel meegjinaaju kaut kaa atgriezties pie buushanas normaalam industriaalaa sabiedriibas cilveekam kas straadaa darbaa un brauc transportaa. Bet jau tad mani niicinaaja skaudri vainas apzinjas viljnji un izmisums, atstaajot S daarzinjaa - redzot kaa vinjsh tur raud un ir pamests novaartaa bez mammas siltuma un uzmaniibas. Es vienkaarshi uz to pieveeru acis.<br />Un tagad kad man ir arii K, es esmu pilniibaa izskritusi no sabiedriibas, jo vinja ir sveetaa uguns, ko shoreiz es sapratu ka nevaru atstaat novaartaa - tas lauztu manu dveeseli un varbuut arii vinjas.<br /><br />Un tad es domaaju par to, cik pateiciiga es esmu R, un visiem viirieshiem kas pasargaa savas sievietes un beernus taa, lai vinjaam nav jaatstaaj savi beerni sveshumaa, kad vinji ir mazinji. Es biezhi apzinos, ka bez R es vienkaarhsi izputeetu, jo esmu pilniibaa zaudeejusi speeju buut industriaalajam cilveekam. Es vienkaarshi esmu mamma tagad. <br /><br />Un tad es domaaju par to kaads haoss un trauksme un tragjeedija ir buut vientuljai mammai. Vinjai visticamaak ir jaamobilizee pilniigi visi savi vaargie speecinji, lai notureetos sabiedriibaa un nosargaatu savus beernus par spiiti tam, ka vinjai ir jaastraadaa un jaabuut projaam no sveetaas uguns, no maajaam, no savas suutiibas un pasha galvenaa uzdevuma. Tas visticamaak totaali salauzh garu, vai vismaz to shaushaliigi ievaino. Un tad es domaaju par beerniem, kas taa arii izaug pie ievainotaam mammaam. Un kas notiek ar vinju dveeseleem?<br /><br />Es esmu laimiigaakais cilveeks pasaulee. Es to vienmeer atcereeshos, un katru dienu apteikshos Dievam par esiibas briinumu.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10864872026-04-30T10:19:002026-04-30T10:19:002026-04-30T09:24:33Z2026-04-30T09:24:33ZVismaz reizi gadaa es zvanu GP un uzskaitu savus simptomus. GP tad man uztaisa asinsanaliizes, pasaka ka viss ir OK and I should just take it easy and get some sleep. That sustains me for another year. Then repeat.<br /><br />Es biezhi juutos kaa tas viirietis no Synecdoche, New York. Tad es domaaju, ka es aptuveni varu sadziivot ar saviem simptomiem, ja vien es izdziivoju vismaz liidz vecumam, kad mani beerni ir patstaaviigi. Kopsh vinjiem man ir added level of EXTREME FEAR izdziivot deelj vinjiem.Stressurn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10863012026-04-29T13:36:002026-04-29T13:36:002026-04-29T12:42:18Z2026-04-29T12:42:18ZEs esmu sasniegusi taadu faazi, ka liidz ko gribas kaut ko komenteet par pasauli un taas notikumiem, es uzreiz sevi apshaubu jo: it could be AI, it could be just content, it could be unreal, it could be lizzid ppl, all of it is irrelevant to my 4 walls.<br /><br />Bet mostly, ka it could just be content or AI.<br /><br />So man vienkaarshi vairs nedomaajas par sensaacijaam, my interest has collapsed completely and it is a strange state.<br /><br />I have enough content in the sink and laundry basket and in the folder of future fears and anxieties.<br /><br />Karoche jo vairaak tu kaut ko miili, jo skaudraaks wreck tu kljuusti to meegjinot saglaabt un frishinaat un notureet. I just lament that I cannot enjoy any bit of this pure paradise I am in due to crippling FEAR.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10859662026-04-20T06:56:002026-04-20T06:56:002026-04-20T06:03:49Z2026-04-20T06:03:49ZCilveeki vienkaarshi meegjina taadeejaadi izbeegt no cieshanaam. Bet dziive uz zemes ir cieshanas vai nu ar jeegu vai bezjeedziigas, vai pat destruktiivas. <br /><br />Feminisms vienkaarshi ir taads pats transhumaanisms, where people just want to transcend their nature because nature of course is suffering. But as i said before, suffering is inevitable, all you can choose is ways in which you suffer. And suffering in natural ways beats suffering in unnatural ways.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10858262026-04-19T13:38:002026-04-19T13:38:002026-04-19T12:42:32Z2026-04-19T12:42:32ZContraception is sexist, abortions are sexist - killing a part of your own body that society does not want or support - that is opposite of empowerment. Restraining and denying your female body to be more like a man, to fit in with men and manly habits and ambitions. How pathetic, how sad!urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10856342026-04-17T09:20:002026-04-17T09:20:002026-04-17T08:20:49Z2026-04-17T08:20:49ZGovernments communicating with gifs - world used to be serious.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10851852026-04-16T15:28:002026-04-16T15:28:002026-04-16T13:33:34Z2026-04-16T13:33:34ZEs nezinu vai shis ir vecums vai kaada zaraza, bet reaali meenesii varbuut ir kaads paaris dienas, kad juutos normaali un kaa cilveeks kas var dariit lietas. Paarsvaraa es vai nu ciinos ar kaut kaadiem mistiskiem simptomiem, where your life and future flashes by etc., vai hormoniem, vai sazin kaadu sunjpurnju voblu. Vai tas ir vecums? Vai taas ir bailes? Vai tas ir beidzot Dieva sods par maniem dziivee sakraatajiem greekiem? <br /><br />Shajos briizhos nav patiesaakas patiesiibas, ka dziivot veselaa kjermenii ar veselu garu, un peec Dieva likumiem - ir Paradiize zemes virsuu, un cilveeki to nezina, un labpraatiigi sevi degradee.<br /><br />Kjermenis apzinjai ir kaut kas totaali skaudrs un baiss.Free slob bird lifeurn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10850142026-04-14T11:24:002026-04-14T11:24:002026-04-14T10:32:37Z2026-04-14T10:32:37ZVieniigaa lieta par ko es esmu nepieklajiigi prieciiga sevis sakaraa, ir ka mana skaistuma rutiina ir tik vobliiga un briiva, ka es juutos kaa pavasara taureniitis.<br /><br />Taatad seju es mazgaaju ar Dove ziepeem vai jebkaadu beenru shampuunu vai vannas liidzekli kas pagadaas, tad apsmeereeju manstyle ar random e45 vai buutiibaa jebkuru body lotion that's within grasp. Matus i just wash n go ar jebkuru random herbal essences vai aussie vai pantene shampuunu ko R izveelas. And that's it my folks. Labi, tad man ir triis Laveras shtruntinji skropstaam, uzaciim un luupaam, un foundation ja eju tikties ar actual cilveekiem. Smarzhas man jau gadiem ir random vaniljas essential elljas that are probably meant for a diffuser?<br /><br />Tad kad beerni izaugs lieli un es buushu veca, sakaltusi tantiite, varbuut tad ja man nebuus kur naudu likt es beidzot investeeshu tirkiiza auskaros, vaigu pomaadees un pirmo reizi muuzhaa aizieshu uz manikiiru.<br /><br />Aa, nagus es peedeejo reizi nolakoju 2023. gada Martaa.Vai Latvija ir paradiize?urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10847822026-04-13T11:42:002026-04-13T11:42:002026-04-13T09:53:56Z2026-04-13T09:53:56ZEs nesen nopirku mazu, leetu raachinju, uzstaadiiju vinju virtuvee un vienkaarshi klausos Radio Caroline, and that is all my life is right now.<br /><br />Veel arii es biezhi domaaju par to, kaa cilveeki tik fenomenaali izshkjeerdee laiku apsaukaajoties un kaujoties, kameer vinji vareetu klausiities Radio Caroline un taisiit siermaizes ar kafiju. Like why would you want to make nuclear bombs instead.<br /><br />Jo vairaak mees progreseejam plastmasas koku naakotnee, jo vairaak es atceros detaljas no beerniibas, kas mani skaidri paarliecina, ka beerniiba vai vismaz tas laiks, kad uzaugu vai vieta, bija shkjiista esiibas paradiize. Tagad vienkaarshi ir prison planet.<br /><br />Mana vieniigaa veeleeshanaas dziivee ir, ka mani beerni no shiis esiibas var izveidot, tajaa saskatiit kaut ko visa veertu/skaistu/sveetu.Satan is always scratching at your door.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10845302026-03-26T09:53:002026-03-26T09:53:002026-03-26T10:03:21Z2026-03-26T10:03:21ZNoklausiijos Reichelas Wilsones Rogana interviju un holy moly, we really are screwed aren't we.<br /><br />I really lament the fact, ka ir tik viegli jaunus cilveekus iedvesmot uz buutiibaa jebko. Bija tik katartiksi paklausiities, kur visas shiis kaisliigaas un shaubiigaas feministes un vinju sunpurnji ir izceelushies. Theosophy, satanism, porn - just wholesome and lovely.<br /><br />Ir labi, ja tiiri intstinktiivi feminisms shkjiet shaubiiga huinja, kas ar apgreeciigu taisniibteeloshanu spiezh moraali domaat un dariit lietas, kas ir pretstataa dveeselei. Bet ir veel labaak, intelektuaali prasties un paarliecinaaties, ka intuiicija un dveesele is king.<br /><br />Es sort of saprotu hearty kristieshus, kas neapstaajas, jo it seems just about the only code that actively protects from war on your soul.<br /><br />Ja man 2013. gadaa randomly nebuutu iepaticies Jeezus, es visticamaak tagad buutu nojuugusies Kali, ja es buutu tik taalu izdziivojusi.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10842952026-03-24T11:01:002026-03-24T11:01:002026-03-24T11:10:07Z2026-03-24T11:10:07ZLiidz kaadam briidim dziivee tu uz pasauli un citiem cilveekiem skaties kaa uz vecaakiem/autoritaateem, kam noteikti ir definitive gudriiba un best intentions at heart. Bet tad vienu dienu, kad tu jau esi mazliet padziivojis un jau paarej dziives otraa pusee, tu peekshnji atskaarsti - Ok, I haven't figured anything out, I err daily and all my best intentions will never make the smallest dent in the common goodness or rather folly of the world. Tu saproti, ka tik vien tu esi kaa taads varbuut mazliet labaak disciplineets beerns, bet tikuntaa beerns, ar 'kaapeec?' un emociju izvirdumiem, un savtiibu. Tikai tad tu saac skatiit liidzcilveekus kaa taadus pashus beernus, dazhs ir klases gudriitis, kaads ir mieriigs draugs, cits ir negants kauslis, mees neviens neesam autoritaate. Taa ir plika Dieva zheelsirdiiba un briinums, ka mees kaut kaa veel velkam uz priekshu, ka veel notiek labas lietas taadaa kritushaa pasaulee. Taapeec, ka labais ir briinums, mums ir pienaakums par to priecaaties, un tikai uz to fokuseeties!urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10839282026-03-14T18:13:002026-03-14T18:13:002026-03-14T18:13:42Z2026-03-14T18:13:42Z"Rats the size of rabbits are still stalking the streets of Birmingham a year after bin workers staged an all-out strike. <br /><br />Britain's second largest city has been described as a 'slum area' and 'as bad as Victorian Britain' as it continues to reel from one of the longest-running industrial disputes of modern times."<br /><br />Reaali jums Latvijaa nav par ko suudzeeties.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10836662026-03-13T16:48:002026-03-13T16:48:002026-03-13T16:50:27Z2026-03-13T16:50:27ZOpinions are opressive as they are pressing in my brain. Lets just all exist in fluid silence and transcendental ambivalence - a delirious plasma field that existed before there was Word that was good.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10835432026-03-12T10:05:002026-03-12T10:05:002026-03-12T10:09:16Z2026-03-12T10:09:16ZNoskatiijos Manosphere. Vienkaarshi shkjiet kaa atbilde feminismam, kas ir atbilde an older manosphere, so basically sievietes un viirieshi striidaas jau tuukstoshiem gadu i guess.<br /><br />That said, Louijam ir taisniiba, ka manosphere seems to originate from trauma, just as toxic feminism. Un pats jociigaakais ir, ka tie dzheki kas tik ljoti priicho, ka they want to embrace responsibility and be wholesome, dara visas ietas kas nav wholesome or resposible. Unless there is like a conservative manosphere and liberal manoshpere.<br /><br />Aah, once again - the world is doomed and we have no future.Wesleyurn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10831532026-03-11T13:45:002026-03-11T13:45:002026-03-11T14:10:54Z2026-03-11T14:10:54ZI've realized that it is not God or Jesus that gets me through dark mind times, it is always people who believe this stuff fervently. So in a sense I am not a follower of Christ but a follower of whatever human speaks most passionately and protectively about god/love.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10830542026-03-11T10:29:002026-03-11T10:29:002026-03-11T10:32:25Z2026-03-11T10:32:25ZOk, can I just leave this here:<br /><br />Jaunaa skolu guidance UK:<br /><br />'Schools will want to be flexible in catering for religious differences.'<br /><br />This includes being aware of the 'sensitivities' that some Muslim parents may have around the 'teaching of aspects of art, dance, drama, music, physical education, religious education and RSHE'.<br /><br />The publication cites art as an example, stating that Islamic culture and civilisation has 'a rich artistic tradition' - but schools may find there are religious exceptions.<br /><br />'A three-dimensional imagery of humans is considered idolatrous by some Muslims,' the guidance warns.<br /><br />'It is very important that the school understands this and is also careful not to ask its students to reproduce images of Jesus, Prophet Mohammed or other figures considered to be prophets in Islam. <br /><br />'Some Muslim pupils may not wish to draw the human figure.' <br /><br />'In Islam, music is traditionally limited to the human voice and non-tuneable percussion instruments as in the days of the Prophet, when they were only used in marriage ceremonies and on the battlefield.'<br /><br />It adds that there is 'a diversity of opinion regarding music amongst Muslims' and schools should 'ensure' students are not asked to join in songs that conflict with their religious beliefs. <br /><br />For drama lessons, teachers should be mindful not to ask students to play parts that 'may seem to compromise their faith'.<br /><br />There may also be 'reservations' around 'physical contact between males and females or performing in a manner that might encourage immodesty or sexual feelings'.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10826732026-03-11T10:06:002026-03-11T10:06:002026-03-11T10:20:37Z2026-03-11T10:20:37ZVakar pie S skolas divas daamas, kas izskatiijaas meec Maarshas no Spaced, luudza parakstiities pret Palantir ievieshanas vieteejaa slimniicaa. Saakumaa es neaizdomaajos un vinjas man prasiija vai esmu par to dzirdeejusi. Tad aizdomaajos un atcereejos ka kaut kur paviideejis shis vaards vienaa no maniem Insta amerikas conspiracy accounts. So lai arii es nezinu kas tas iiisti ir, teicu vinjaam, ka noteikti esmu pret visu sho 'stuff' un parakstiijos. <br /><br />Just as you think that conspiracies is just a killing of time that people like to indulge in online, some little crumble of this crap comes close to your home.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10825362026-03-10T20:41:002026-03-10T20:41:002026-03-10T20:41:27Z2026-03-10T20:41:27ZVai pasaule pieder dievam vai saatanam?urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10822862026-03-10T10:57:002026-03-10T10:57:002026-03-10T10:59:11Z2026-03-10T10:59:11ZThis person:<br />1)Accepts the loss completely<br />2)But still somehow believes that with God, the impossible could be restored