(no subject)
Apr. 14th, 2004 | 09:45 pm
From:: drako
Aizpildīju vienu testiņu un ieguvu aptuveni šādu mana ideālā partnera aprakstu:
My Ideal Partner
Personal Characteristics
Highly emotionally intelligent
Although someone with average emotional intelligence – someone just like you - would be an “easier” match for you, you might benefit more from a partner who is highly emotionally intelligent. Should you be paired with someone who is much less adept than you in this area, you might become frustrated with his/her lack of emotional know-how and problems might therefore ensue. Partnering up with someone much more proficient than you, on the other hand, would allow you to learn a lot. It would certainly make a difference for you in terms of understanding and dealing with your own emotions as well as those of others. You should be aware, however, that s/he might become annoyed by your comparative lacks of skills, so you’ll need to make an effort to become more adept in this area.
Has a positive self-concept
As you work on building your self-esteem and boosting your confidence, a partner attempting to make similar strides would suit you, but being in a relationship with a partner who already has healthy self-esteem and a lot of confidence could be the ideal situation for you. You could definitely learn a thing or two from him/her along the way.
Somewhat relaxed about rules and doing the “right” thing
Although you’re generally an upstanding citizen, you certainly have times where you do not do what’s considered by most to be “right”. It would therefore be most enjoyable for you to pair up with someone who also isn’t overly concerned with living virtuously or doing the “right” thing all the time. Should you be paired with someone who tends to stand on moral high ground more often than you do, s/he might feel that you are asking him/her to compromise his/her own values, or to turn a blind eye when s/he sees you behaving without integrity.
Flexible enough to handle changed or dropped plans
Since you sometimes allow your circumstances to stop you from living up to your word, you will likely have trouble in your future relationships - unless you make an effort to become more consistently dependable. Becoming more steadily reliable is definitely the first step you should take in order to have successful relationships. Until then, being with a flexible person who can adjust to occasionally changed plans and accept that you are not always going to live up to your word is key, as long as that person is also assertive and thus able to make it clear when a situation truly requires you to do what you say you will.
Somewhat concerned with being neat and organized
Ideally, your partner would be as organized and tidy as you are, but being paired with someone who prefers things to be either more or less orderly than you do could still work. On one hand, you may learn a few good habits. On the other hand, you may be able to pass in some good habits of your own. Either way, someone with your approach to organization and planning should be able to adjust quite easily to a relationship with a person at either end of this spectrum – being willing to put some work into it and to compromise will surely help matters.
Has a tendency to stick to a daily routine but is flexible
Someone who, like you, has a moderate tendency toward creating and following a routine - but is not uncomfortable winging it from time to time - would be the best match for you. You would certainly understand each other. Finding a mate who adheres more strictly to routine could leave your relationship susceptible to conflict, and could at times lead to frustration on your part when s/he is not willing to alter plans if something unexpected comes up. On the flip side of the coin, however, someone of this type could prove to be a good influence on you in terms of encouraging you to structure your life more. A partner who eschews routine altogether could work as a mate for you, but this pairing could also prove frustrating for you when you’re attempting to schedule plans with someone fond of living an unstructured life.
Handles stress with ease
Someone who reacts well to stress would be the most effective partner for you because you tend to be able to handle stress easily and you tend to bounce back from tension and hassles. Although you would also be compatible with someone who needs to work on his/her ability to handle stress and could certainly share some of your expertise in this area with him/her, this situation would not be ideal for you. Such a person, who would have more difficulty than you when dealing with stressors, could actually hold you back. You might even get a kick out of helping someone to become more stress-resistant since you’re generally able to put up with people less skilled than you in this department.
Strikes a balance between being dominant and encouraging equal input
On occasion, you seem to prefer to be the partner with the control and power in your relationship, while at other times preferring to take more of a back seat approach and relinquishing the control to your mate. You would be most content with someone who has similar tendencies. In this way, you will establish an equal partnership where both of you have the same amount of input in the relationship. Otherwise, you would find yourself either with a partner who attempts to take more control away from you than you are willing to give up, or a partner whose submissive nature asks you to take more power and control than you are comfortable taking.
Attitudes and Beliefs
Optimistic and accepting
Finding a partner who is optimistic and tolerant enough to handle your bouts of pessimism will benefit you greatly. See your partner as an example – someone with a healthier, more balanced way of looking at the world that you could try on for size. Being paired with another pessimist would only draw you deeper into the well of negativity.
Somewhat spontaneous and fairly open to new experiences
As someone who is fairly open to trying new experiences and to taking off at the drop of a hat occasionally, but who can also appreciate the security of certainty, chances are you could easily adjust to a partner who wants to experience new things quite often or wants to take on last-minute escapades on a regular basis. You might even be able to contribute some stability to his/her life. You would also probably have little difficulty getting along with a mate who is not interested in being swept off on adventures at a moment’s notice or at experiencing all things cutting-edge. There’s nothing wrong with adding a little spice to the life of predictability and safety that someone with such a temperament is accustomed to. After all, a little risk can be healthy every once in a while, as you well know. Ideally, however, you would be best off with someone who shares your moderate approach to living dangerously.
Flexible and open character
Your tendency to be somewhat flexible in nature would allow you to have a successful relationship with someone who is not as flexible as you, with someone as easy-going as you, and even with someone more adaptable than you. Since you stick to your guns in some areas, but are more relaxed in others, your partner will likely be able to feel that you are not relentlessly fighting to get your way, but that you speak up about the things that are important to you. Other things being equal, your best shot is to go for someone who is very flexible.
Political and social views are midway between conservative and liberal
Since you have a moderate attitude in both the political and social arenas, your ideal partner would likely share these temperate views. Being with someone whose perspectives lie farther left on the political spectrum may stimulate much discussion and debate in your relationship, but problems may arise when it comes to issues on which neither of you are willing to budge. A similar situation could arise if you paired up with someone with a more conservative attitude and outlook.
Has traditional perspective on gender roles
Someone with a traditional perspective on the roles of men and women would be a good match for you because you share similar viewpoints. Ideally in a relationship, neither partner has to compromise how they see their role in the relationship. Things are just simpler that way. You should be aware, however, that research invariably shows that relationships where the partners are equal tend to be much happier than ones where only one person wears the pants in the relationship. Your somewhat inflexible nature would make it even more difficult to adjust to differing gender role beliefs in this area.
Thinks that money is of some importance in life
Seeing as you believe that money has a moderately important place in your life, you would be able to adjust to a partner with a different attitude than you regarding money matters, but you would have to be communicative and flexible. Ideally, you would pair up with someone who has the same perspective on the topic as you do. A relationship with someone who places either less or more importance on finances and wealth could prove to be full of differences of opinion, and therefore there would be potential for a lot of conflict.
Spends wisely
There is a happy medium that can be struck when it comes to both spending and saving habits. You seem to have discovered this balance. A partner with the same financial approach would be ideal for you. Either a mate who is less able to hold on to his/her money, or one who can’t seem to let go of any of his/her cash could prove difficult for you to get along with because money can cause a lot of conflict in relationships. On the other hand, you may be able to teach someone in either of these categories a thing or two about how to handle his/her money effectively and wisely - while still being able to enjoy it.
Has authoritative parenting style - involves setting limits as well as providing affection and support
Your authoritative style of parenting would be best complemented by the same, highly effective approach on the part of your partner. Authoritative parenting involves both providing affection and setting limits for a child. It is the most effective approach to parenting according to research. Finding a partner who also takes this approach would benefit both you and your children, who will surely grow up to be well adjusted adults.
Communication and Conflict
Able to communicate effectively
You would be most compatible with someone who is able to communicate as effectively as you seem to be. This way you could avoid being held back by someone whose communication skills are not up to par. It is not that you couldn’t necessarily handle being with someone with poor communication ability; it just wouldn’t be an ideal situation for you.
Needs some emotional intimacy
Finding a romantic partner who places a moderate amount of importance on intimacy would work best for you since you sometimes talk openly about yourself and your life with others. This will satisfy most potential partners’ desire for establishing closeness, although people who need a great deal of intimacy may still feel that they are not getting enough out of you.
Skilled at dealing with conflict
Since you deal relatively well with conflict, finding a partner who is as skilled or even more adept than you are at handling differences of opinion would be ideal for you. You could still learn from someone more skilled in this area – you just need to be open to it. A man/woman who deals with conflict in a less effective way than you (which may even mean not dealing with conflict at all but instead avoiding it) may not only need you to be a model to him/her for handling conflict, but you could potentially find yourself being the only one in the relationship willing to deal with any conflicts that arise, and this could get very frustrating and tiring for you.
Social Life
Has characteristics of both an introvert and an extrovert
As somebody possessing the qualities of an introvert as well as those of an extrovert, you’d be able to form a rewarding bond with a partner who is either introverted or extroverted. Perhaps the simplest and best combination, however, would be you and someone who, like you, can neither be classified as an introvert or an extrovert, but who falls somewhere in the middle of this continuum. That person would surely understand that, although you sometimes like to be the center of attention, at other times you are more subdued.
Possesses good social skills
A partner with good social skills would work best for you, but you could probably fare well with a less socially proficient mate as well. You could even help this latter type to improve his/her social behavior along the way. Beware of the fact that if you are paired with an individual with either very poor or very good social skills then the more skilled of the two of you might become annoyed or feel held back socially by the other.
Possesses good social skills
A partner with good social skills would work best for you, but you could probably fare well with a less socially proficient mate as well. You could even help this latter type to improve his/her social behavior along the way. Beware of the fact that if you are paired with an individual with either very poor or very good social skills then one of the two of you might become annoyed or feel held back socially by the other. Although you don’t actively avoid people with poor social skills, make sure if you hook up with such a man/woman that s/he is willing to make a sincere effort to improve in this area.
Places moderate importance on relationships with family and friends
A good match for you would be someone who, like you, places some importance on having a social network outside of your relationship, but who does not feel reliant on family and/or friends. This way, you will have compatible social needs and desires. Should you find yourself with someone who does not share your desire for closeness with friends and family, s/he’ll need to be flexible. Otherwise, s/he may push you to change yourself in ways that don’t interest you.
Relationship Skills and Attitudes
Shares a great deal about his/her life and emotions; is tolerant and patient
Due to your tendency to be distrustful of your romantic partner, your ideal match would prefer to talk openly about him/herself and his/her life. S/he would also have to be a very tolerant and patient person. Otherwise s/he would likely find it tiresome to deal with your lack of trust. Keep in mind that learning to trust your partner is possibly the most invaluable thing you could do to ensure a successful relationship. Your lack of trust is most likely at the bottom of your reluctance to disclose intimate details of your life. This creates a vicious cycle. On one hand, you need a partner who is very upfront and willing to share. On the other hand, your unwillingness to reciprocate would make it difficult for him/her to do so. There is no easy way out of this trap, so you will need to work on at least one, if not both, of these issues.
Moderate need for emotional intimacy
Being in a relationship with someone who needs some, but not a lot, of intimacy would work best for you since you have the same need and desire for emotional closeness. Although being paired with someone who has a very high need for closeness might encourage you to grow and become even more open than you are now, your partner might find that you are too closed emotionally, so you might have to work to become more up front with your emotions and your feelings.
Tolerant individual
You would be best paired with someone who, like you, is extremely tolerant. Although your tolerant nature likely means that you would be able to create a fulfilling relationship with someone who may not be quite as understanding as you are, this situation would not be ideal for you.
Willing to rely on others
Your selfless nature would feel unfulfilled if your partner weren’t willing to partake of your generosity. Find someone who wants to rely on you, and you will feel appreciated. Just don’t let yourself be taken advantage of – your ideal partner would be sure to encourage you to have your way sometimes too. Beware if you are matched with someone who is egocentric; since you appear to have trouble making your needs clear to others, you may be taken advantage of.
Ready to be in a committed relationship
A partner who is fully ready to leap into a long-term relationship and who prefers a more committed approach to relationships would be an ideal companion for you, as you seem to be of a similar mindset at this point in your life. Pairing up with someone who is not looking for commitment would not be a good idea, as you could potentially feel like you are pressuring him/her into something that s/he is not ready for. S/he could also feel as though s/he were disappointing you by not being willing to dive into the relationship as wholeheartedly. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging the fact that you are ready to take on a committed relationship. Letting a potential mate know what you are – and what you are not – looking for will allow for a more honest interaction; one that won’t leave either of you feeling disappointed or shortchanged.
Sexually adventurous and open-minded
Finding a partner who has the same accepting, easy-going, and adventurous attitudes about sex and an approach similar to yours regarding the frequency of sexual activity in your relationship would be ideal for you. Otherwise you may feel resentment and even frustration if your sexual needs are not being met. Of course, should you be willing to tone down sexually, a more moderate partner would also work for you. However, make sure that you are aware of the possibility for resentment in this situation.
Usually faithful when in a relationship
As someone who is usually faithful to your partner, save for a few mistakes here and there, a mate with similar tendencies would be well suited to being in a relationship with you. Although you might not be quite ready to be with someone who is extremely faithful, or at least not yet, you certainly don’t deserve to be with someone on the other end of the spectrum either.
Willing to discuss his/her feelings
Since at times you have a need for security in your relationship, having a partner willing to share his/her feelings with you or tell you how s/he feels about you can be important. Your sense of self does not entirely depend on your partner’s opinion of you, but his/her opinion certainly matters to you. You tend to wonder occasionally whether s/he really wants to be in a relationship with you and whether s/he is going to leave you. While your ideal partner does not have to be completely expressive and open, being able to comfortably share his/her feelings somewhat will make a difference for you in terms of your sense of security in the relationship. Someone unwilling to share his/her feelings for you at all would not be a good partner for you – the relationship could prove to be upsetting or painful for you.
Has independent and dependent traits when in a relationship
You appear to fall somewhere in between dependent and independent, and this would surely allow you to have a fulfilling relationship with several types of people. Ideally, your mate would also be someone who is neither completely independent nor completely dependent, but is also a mix of these two characteristics. If paired with someone who is independent, you would have little trouble adjusting to his/her need for time alone, provided that you got enough “together time” to satisfy your needs. Likewise, chances are you could tolerate a dependent partner’s need for your time and attention, provided that s/he was willing to work on becoming more independent.
Moderate need for control
As a person who is generally willing to relinquish control to your partner, at least on issues you don’t feel strongly about, you could have a successful relationship with someone with a tendency to seek control of situations just as easily as with someone who has no strong desire to be “in charge.” However, the ideal for you would be someone in between, who asserts his/her need for control when s/he feels opinionated about it, but is also just as willing to seek out your input in making decisions.
Has stable moods
As someone with stable moods, it would likely be most enjoyable and rewarding for you to be in a relationship with someone who also has stable moods. Since you are generally able to tolerate mood instability in your partner, you could also partner up with someone whose moods are less stable than yours, but this may prove to be a more tiring scenario for you.
Has good control of anger
You’ve got a solid grip on your anger, so you would mix well with a partner at either end of the tolerance spectrum. Naturally, though, a man/woman with good anger control would be the ideal counterpart for you.
... reālais palags ...
nja.
Kur esi mana īstā? ;-DDD
My Ideal Partner
Personal Characteristics
Highly emotionally intelligent
Although someone with average emotional intelligence – someone just like you - would be an “easier” match for you, you might benefit more from a partner who is highly emotionally intelligent. Should you be paired with someone who is much less adept than you in this area, you might become frustrated with his/her lack of emotional know-how and problems might therefore ensue. Partnering up with someone much more proficient than you, on the other hand, would allow you to learn a lot. It would certainly make a difference for you in terms of understanding and dealing with your own emotions as well as those of others. You should be aware, however, that s/he might become annoyed by your comparative lacks of skills, so you’ll need to make an effort to become more adept in this area.
Has a positive self-concept
As you work on building your self-esteem and boosting your confidence, a partner attempting to make similar strides would suit you, but being in a relationship with a partner who already has healthy self-esteem and a lot of confidence could be the ideal situation for you. You could definitely learn a thing or two from him/her along the way.
Somewhat relaxed about rules and doing the “right” thing
Although you’re generally an upstanding citizen, you certainly have times where you do not do what’s considered by most to be “right”. It would therefore be most enjoyable for you to pair up with someone who also isn’t overly concerned with living virtuously or doing the “right” thing all the time. Should you be paired with someone who tends to stand on moral high ground more often than you do, s/he might feel that you are asking him/her to compromise his/her own values, or to turn a blind eye when s/he sees you behaving without integrity.
Flexible enough to handle changed or dropped plans
Since you sometimes allow your circumstances to stop you from living up to your word, you will likely have trouble in your future relationships - unless you make an effort to become more consistently dependable. Becoming more steadily reliable is definitely the first step you should take in order to have successful relationships. Until then, being with a flexible person who can adjust to occasionally changed plans and accept that you are not always going to live up to your word is key, as long as that person is also assertive and thus able to make it clear when a situation truly requires you to do what you say you will.
Somewhat concerned with being neat and organized
Ideally, your partner would be as organized and tidy as you are, but being paired with someone who prefers things to be either more or less orderly than you do could still work. On one hand, you may learn a few good habits. On the other hand, you may be able to pass in some good habits of your own. Either way, someone with your approach to organization and planning should be able to adjust quite easily to a relationship with a person at either end of this spectrum – being willing to put some work into it and to compromise will surely help matters.
Has a tendency to stick to a daily routine but is flexible
Someone who, like you, has a moderate tendency toward creating and following a routine - but is not uncomfortable winging it from time to time - would be the best match for you. You would certainly understand each other. Finding a mate who adheres more strictly to routine could leave your relationship susceptible to conflict, and could at times lead to frustration on your part when s/he is not willing to alter plans if something unexpected comes up. On the flip side of the coin, however, someone of this type could prove to be a good influence on you in terms of encouraging you to structure your life more. A partner who eschews routine altogether could work as a mate for you, but this pairing could also prove frustrating for you when you’re attempting to schedule plans with someone fond of living an unstructured life.
Handles stress with ease
Someone who reacts well to stress would be the most effective partner for you because you tend to be able to handle stress easily and you tend to bounce back from tension and hassles. Although you would also be compatible with someone who needs to work on his/her ability to handle stress and could certainly share some of your expertise in this area with him/her, this situation would not be ideal for you. Such a person, who would have more difficulty than you when dealing with stressors, could actually hold you back. You might even get a kick out of helping someone to become more stress-resistant since you’re generally able to put up with people less skilled than you in this department.
Strikes a balance between being dominant and encouraging equal input
On occasion, you seem to prefer to be the partner with the control and power in your relationship, while at other times preferring to take more of a back seat approach and relinquishing the control to your mate. You would be most content with someone who has similar tendencies. In this way, you will establish an equal partnership where both of you have the same amount of input in the relationship. Otherwise, you would find yourself either with a partner who attempts to take more control away from you than you are willing to give up, or a partner whose submissive nature asks you to take more power and control than you are comfortable taking.
Attitudes and Beliefs
Optimistic and accepting
Finding a partner who is optimistic and tolerant enough to handle your bouts of pessimism will benefit you greatly. See your partner as an example – someone with a healthier, more balanced way of looking at the world that you could try on for size. Being paired with another pessimist would only draw you deeper into the well of negativity.
Somewhat spontaneous and fairly open to new experiences
As someone who is fairly open to trying new experiences and to taking off at the drop of a hat occasionally, but who can also appreciate the security of certainty, chances are you could easily adjust to a partner who wants to experience new things quite often or wants to take on last-minute escapades on a regular basis. You might even be able to contribute some stability to his/her life. You would also probably have little difficulty getting along with a mate who is not interested in being swept off on adventures at a moment’s notice or at experiencing all things cutting-edge. There’s nothing wrong with adding a little spice to the life of predictability and safety that someone with such a temperament is accustomed to. After all, a little risk can be healthy every once in a while, as you well know. Ideally, however, you would be best off with someone who shares your moderate approach to living dangerously.
Flexible and open character
Your tendency to be somewhat flexible in nature would allow you to have a successful relationship with someone who is not as flexible as you, with someone as easy-going as you, and even with someone more adaptable than you. Since you stick to your guns in some areas, but are more relaxed in others, your partner will likely be able to feel that you are not relentlessly fighting to get your way, but that you speak up about the things that are important to you. Other things being equal, your best shot is to go for someone who is very flexible.
Political and social views are midway between conservative and liberal
Since you have a moderate attitude in both the political and social arenas, your ideal partner would likely share these temperate views. Being with someone whose perspectives lie farther left on the political spectrum may stimulate much discussion and debate in your relationship, but problems may arise when it comes to issues on which neither of you are willing to budge. A similar situation could arise if you paired up with someone with a more conservative attitude and outlook.
Has traditional perspective on gender roles
Someone with a traditional perspective on the roles of men and women would be a good match for you because you share similar viewpoints. Ideally in a relationship, neither partner has to compromise how they see their role in the relationship. Things are just simpler that way. You should be aware, however, that research invariably shows that relationships where the partners are equal tend to be much happier than ones where only one person wears the pants in the relationship. Your somewhat inflexible nature would make it even more difficult to adjust to differing gender role beliefs in this area.
Thinks that money is of some importance in life
Seeing as you believe that money has a moderately important place in your life, you would be able to adjust to a partner with a different attitude than you regarding money matters, but you would have to be communicative and flexible. Ideally, you would pair up with someone who has the same perspective on the topic as you do. A relationship with someone who places either less or more importance on finances and wealth could prove to be full of differences of opinion, and therefore there would be potential for a lot of conflict.
Spends wisely
There is a happy medium that can be struck when it comes to both spending and saving habits. You seem to have discovered this balance. A partner with the same financial approach would be ideal for you. Either a mate who is less able to hold on to his/her money, or one who can’t seem to let go of any of his/her cash could prove difficult for you to get along with because money can cause a lot of conflict in relationships. On the other hand, you may be able to teach someone in either of these categories a thing or two about how to handle his/her money effectively and wisely - while still being able to enjoy it.
Has authoritative parenting style - involves setting limits as well as providing affection and support
Your authoritative style of parenting would be best complemented by the same, highly effective approach on the part of your partner. Authoritative parenting involves both providing affection and setting limits for a child. It is the most effective approach to parenting according to research. Finding a partner who also takes this approach would benefit both you and your children, who will surely grow up to be well adjusted adults.
Communication and Conflict
Able to communicate effectively
You would be most compatible with someone who is able to communicate as effectively as you seem to be. This way you could avoid being held back by someone whose communication skills are not up to par. It is not that you couldn’t necessarily handle being with someone with poor communication ability; it just wouldn’t be an ideal situation for you.
Needs some emotional intimacy
Finding a romantic partner who places a moderate amount of importance on intimacy would work best for you since you sometimes talk openly about yourself and your life with others. This will satisfy most potential partners’ desire for establishing closeness, although people who need a great deal of intimacy may still feel that they are not getting enough out of you.
Skilled at dealing with conflict
Since you deal relatively well with conflict, finding a partner who is as skilled or even more adept than you are at handling differences of opinion would be ideal for you. You could still learn from someone more skilled in this area – you just need to be open to it. A man/woman who deals with conflict in a less effective way than you (which may even mean not dealing with conflict at all but instead avoiding it) may not only need you to be a model to him/her for handling conflict, but you could potentially find yourself being the only one in the relationship willing to deal with any conflicts that arise, and this could get very frustrating and tiring for you.
Social Life
Has characteristics of both an introvert and an extrovert
As somebody possessing the qualities of an introvert as well as those of an extrovert, you’d be able to form a rewarding bond with a partner who is either introverted or extroverted. Perhaps the simplest and best combination, however, would be you and someone who, like you, can neither be classified as an introvert or an extrovert, but who falls somewhere in the middle of this continuum. That person would surely understand that, although you sometimes like to be the center of attention, at other times you are more subdued.
Possesses good social skills
A partner with good social skills would work best for you, but you could probably fare well with a less socially proficient mate as well. You could even help this latter type to improve his/her social behavior along the way. Beware of the fact that if you are paired with an individual with either very poor or very good social skills then the more skilled of the two of you might become annoyed or feel held back socially by the other.
Possesses good social skills
A partner with good social skills would work best for you, but you could probably fare well with a less socially proficient mate as well. You could even help this latter type to improve his/her social behavior along the way. Beware of the fact that if you are paired with an individual with either very poor or very good social skills then one of the two of you might become annoyed or feel held back socially by the other. Although you don’t actively avoid people with poor social skills, make sure if you hook up with such a man/woman that s/he is willing to make a sincere effort to improve in this area.
Places moderate importance on relationships with family and friends
A good match for you would be someone who, like you, places some importance on having a social network outside of your relationship, but who does not feel reliant on family and/or friends. This way, you will have compatible social needs and desires. Should you find yourself with someone who does not share your desire for closeness with friends and family, s/he’ll need to be flexible. Otherwise, s/he may push you to change yourself in ways that don’t interest you.
Relationship Skills and Attitudes
Shares a great deal about his/her life and emotions; is tolerant and patient
Due to your tendency to be distrustful of your romantic partner, your ideal match would prefer to talk openly about him/herself and his/her life. S/he would also have to be a very tolerant and patient person. Otherwise s/he would likely find it tiresome to deal with your lack of trust. Keep in mind that learning to trust your partner is possibly the most invaluable thing you could do to ensure a successful relationship. Your lack of trust is most likely at the bottom of your reluctance to disclose intimate details of your life. This creates a vicious cycle. On one hand, you need a partner who is very upfront and willing to share. On the other hand, your unwillingness to reciprocate would make it difficult for him/her to do so. There is no easy way out of this trap, so you will need to work on at least one, if not both, of these issues.
Moderate need for emotional intimacy
Being in a relationship with someone who needs some, but not a lot, of intimacy would work best for you since you have the same need and desire for emotional closeness. Although being paired with someone who has a very high need for closeness might encourage you to grow and become even more open than you are now, your partner might find that you are too closed emotionally, so you might have to work to become more up front with your emotions and your feelings.
Tolerant individual
You would be best paired with someone who, like you, is extremely tolerant. Although your tolerant nature likely means that you would be able to create a fulfilling relationship with someone who may not be quite as understanding as you are, this situation would not be ideal for you.
Willing to rely on others
Your selfless nature would feel unfulfilled if your partner weren’t willing to partake of your generosity. Find someone who wants to rely on you, and you will feel appreciated. Just don’t let yourself be taken advantage of – your ideal partner would be sure to encourage you to have your way sometimes too. Beware if you are matched with someone who is egocentric; since you appear to have trouble making your needs clear to others, you may be taken advantage of.
Ready to be in a committed relationship
A partner who is fully ready to leap into a long-term relationship and who prefers a more committed approach to relationships would be an ideal companion for you, as you seem to be of a similar mindset at this point in your life. Pairing up with someone who is not looking for commitment would not be a good idea, as you could potentially feel like you are pressuring him/her into something that s/he is not ready for. S/he could also feel as though s/he were disappointing you by not being willing to dive into the relationship as wholeheartedly. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging the fact that you are ready to take on a committed relationship. Letting a potential mate know what you are – and what you are not – looking for will allow for a more honest interaction; one that won’t leave either of you feeling disappointed or shortchanged.
Sexually adventurous and open-minded
Finding a partner who has the same accepting, easy-going, and adventurous attitudes about sex and an approach similar to yours regarding the frequency of sexual activity in your relationship would be ideal for you. Otherwise you may feel resentment and even frustration if your sexual needs are not being met. Of course, should you be willing to tone down sexually, a more moderate partner would also work for you. However, make sure that you are aware of the possibility for resentment in this situation.
Usually faithful when in a relationship
As someone who is usually faithful to your partner, save for a few mistakes here and there, a mate with similar tendencies would be well suited to being in a relationship with you. Although you might not be quite ready to be with someone who is extremely faithful, or at least not yet, you certainly don’t deserve to be with someone on the other end of the spectrum either.
Willing to discuss his/her feelings
Since at times you have a need for security in your relationship, having a partner willing to share his/her feelings with you or tell you how s/he feels about you can be important. Your sense of self does not entirely depend on your partner’s opinion of you, but his/her opinion certainly matters to you. You tend to wonder occasionally whether s/he really wants to be in a relationship with you and whether s/he is going to leave you. While your ideal partner does not have to be completely expressive and open, being able to comfortably share his/her feelings somewhat will make a difference for you in terms of your sense of security in the relationship. Someone unwilling to share his/her feelings for you at all would not be a good partner for you – the relationship could prove to be upsetting or painful for you.
Has independent and dependent traits when in a relationship
You appear to fall somewhere in between dependent and independent, and this would surely allow you to have a fulfilling relationship with several types of people. Ideally, your mate would also be someone who is neither completely independent nor completely dependent, but is also a mix of these two characteristics. If paired with someone who is independent, you would have little trouble adjusting to his/her need for time alone, provided that you got enough “together time” to satisfy your needs. Likewise, chances are you could tolerate a dependent partner’s need for your time and attention, provided that s/he was willing to work on becoming more independent.
Moderate need for control
As a person who is generally willing to relinquish control to your partner, at least on issues you don’t feel strongly about, you could have a successful relationship with someone with a tendency to seek control of situations just as easily as with someone who has no strong desire to be “in charge.” However, the ideal for you would be someone in between, who asserts his/her need for control when s/he feels opinionated about it, but is also just as willing to seek out your input in making decisions.
Has stable moods
As someone with stable moods, it would likely be most enjoyable and rewarding for you to be in a relationship with someone who also has stable moods. Since you are generally able to tolerate mood instability in your partner, you could also partner up with someone whose moods are less stable than yours, but this may prove to be a more tiring scenario for you.
Has good control of anger
You’ve got a solid grip on your anger, so you would mix well with a partner at either end of the tolerance spectrum. Naturally, though, a man/woman with good anger control would be the ideal counterpart for you.
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nja.
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