| The Difference Between Dogs and Cats |
[26 Oct 2005|02:10pm] |
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Static X - The Only |
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A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... They must be gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... I must be a god!
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| Joks? |
[26 Oct 2005|02:14pm] |
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kkadu sviestu |
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A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
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| =D |
[26 Oct 2005|02:24pm] |
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A biologist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded, "Jump, frog, jump!" The frog jumped across the room. The biologist measured the distance, then noted in his journal, "Frog with four legs jumped eight feet." Then he cut the frog's front legs off. Again he ordered, "Jump, frog, jump!" The frog struggled a moment, then jumped a few feet. After measuring the distance, the biologist noted in his journal, "Frog with two legs jumped three feet." Next, the biologist cut off the frog's back legs. Once more, he shouted, "Jump, frog, jump!" The frog just lay there. "Jump, frog, jump!" the biologist repeated. Nothing. The biologist noted in his journal, "Frog with no legs - lost its hearing."
A shii ir pilniga taisniiba
A LV shitadu naf :(
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| hahaha |
[26 Oct 2005|02:53pm] |
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled,
"we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24."
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[26 Oct 2005|02:54pm] |
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I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum company." About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith's wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do you like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air, I work for 7-UP."
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